black&PINK

2012-02-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

So,

School was fine. Except that Yazid decide to ruin my flawless skin on my hand by scribbling. He loves ruining my day. Co-volunteer, Justin. Rushed homed , went out again for class , homed again and slept. Was supposed to meet Daniel at Serangoon MRT at 6 but I'm late.

Got to know he's there already, told Yan Lin and Yu Kiat to meet him first. Off to ttsh. It was a funny journey there. Wanted to see Yan Lin's mom condition but .. idk .. decide to sit at Starbucks while waiting for her to take a look at her mom. They kept asking me to watch 1000 ways to die. Le sighh!

Went for dinner at Popeye's and they continue watching that gruesome show. I can't eat. Said our goodbyes and met Pearlyn, Berlinda and Qianling at Clarke Quay. Off to Rebel (: Had Fun! They saw a few of their friends and decide to join in also. Basically, I met new friends like again. After buying tix, went to blue bridge to drink. I forgot their names. :/ Only remembered Zhiyang and Alton (i think) . HAHA! Alton is definitely cute to me.

Berlinda got drunk , then Pearlyn. Qianling not really. The guys are kind enough to be our bodyguards in the dancefloor. I feel protected. LOL! Nah, they just stood one side and look. But seriously, at a certain point of time, when the crowd gets rowdy.. thats when I dont feel people pushing me. And me, being an asshole. Hinted a few guys to dance with but I ran away to hide behind one of Berlinda's friend. LOL! It was damn funny, dance our ass off ..

Sat at Subway for their breakfast and I slept. This german guy came to us and asked a few questions that seriously wake us up. Homed at 6. Slept.

I feel like vomitting right now. :/

A: Why are you so fierce?
Lol, thanks for trying to make up a conversation but you're too cute.

2012-02-09T23:09:00.003+08:00

Hey hey guiseeeee!
LOL! I sound so happy. why? Cause my friends are kinda good for now. I mean my school friends. They're there when I need them. So apparently, today school starts with Justin pissing me off big time. We "fought" during our retest.

Otw to cafe 1, in the lift, I was talking to Aisha all the way and I heard the lift said "Level 1". I looked at the ground and asked her "Why is the ground so high up when its level 1?" . BAM! A smack on my head. LOL! She's like "Level 3 la bodoh" . LOLOL! Fucked my own brain. Ate and Prabby got Burned by Aisha wayy too much. LOL! We were playing this "Yo momma" jokes.

Aisha: Yo Vagina hole is so big that Dhivyan could park his car in there!

Everyone was like. "ohhhhhhhhh! BURN BURN BURN"

Went for Microlab. I got pissed with Zid and Justin again. As usual, their "irritatingness" .. So me and Zid fought like till I said "Dont talk to me anymore." I was talking to myself when..

Zid: Oh, its just 5 mins.
Me: Why are you talking to me?
Zid: Then who are you talking to? Yourself?
Me: Ya! DUH! Extra.
Zid: Why are you talking to me then?
Me: Cause you talked to me! Why are you talking to me..

this goes on! While fighting with Zid, Justin suddenly stand so close to me.

Me: WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME?
Justin: Cause I need to talk to Daniel
Me: But there's no need to stand so close.
Justin: I need to see his face!

Zid starts his nonsense in the middle of my fight with Justin. DAMN! Towards the end, I just went off from Zid and he caught me from behind.

Zid: whats wrong with you today?
Me: Nothing la.
Zid: Why so pissed then?
Me: idk. ):
Zid: Eh.. *pulls my face closer to his face* ishhhhh, dont be so mad eh. *Hugs*

I was like wth just happened? Homed with Munirah and Val. Comes Daniel, Wei Lun and Jonathan. I asked Jonathan from last year "Where you stay". He didnt even reply me so I turned to talk to Wei Lun and Daniel. While he talked to Munirah and Val.

Jonathan: Eh DIANAAA!
Me : AHH, yes yes?
Jonathan: You want to know where I stay anot? *pampered voice*
Me : ya ya!Where!?!?!?
Jonathan : SN.
Me : there's such place. Dan, you stay near him right?
Dan : No. I Stay SG.

and they start to confuse me. Little did I realise I left the girls out in this conversation .. Sorry but all of them bomb me with silly questions.

So I took 27 instead of 72 home with Dan. I was daydreaming and out of a sudden, my brain goes bonkers and I was like "Where am I? Im not in 27, I have to get down" whereas I'm in. WTF? I nearly tapped out. Sighh, whats wrong with me. Idk.

Another day of school tomorrow.

2012-02-08T22:52:00.002+08:00

LOL! Dear blog,

So recently, this year.. I have known a lot of nice friends. I mean those whom I can really joke and be rough with. [I'm a rough girl, girl at times] It wasn't a smooth morning for me today and I just decide to go to school thinking to get it over and done with just for attendance. Afternoon wasn't a nice one either.

So, around 2:30pm I went back to school for revision lesson. Went for SnW and slack for a moment with my girls and Yazid. School's done! and off to revision with Yazid, Jun Hui and Justin. LOL! I thought they're gonna leave me behind but little do I know they're waiting for me even after I went missing from them for like 30mins. How sweet! Slacked in the guys toilet while Jun Hui and Yazid smoked.

Went for class and did our normal revision. Towards the end of lesson, Justin and Yazid came to disturb me. Justin was always like "Why are you asking stupid question? STUPID!" . I'm like " ): " .. Our conversations are just playfully funny. Yazid of course on the other hand, have to side with me even though he twisted my hand like OUUCCHH! it hurts so much! We actually did Kick Boxing in the lab which I know its dangerous. LOL!

Justin : I'd like to do a breakthrough and get into the headlines.
Me: HAHA! Headlines "The 1st kid who tried to cure cancer, died of cancer. IRONIC"
Justin : HAHA! Dont be so bad lei?
Me: No, its the truth! FACT! I will tell my kid this is my STUPID friend.
Justin : No {Conevrsations continue} [teacher's laugh]

Its just plain funny with the guy who loves annoying the shit out of me. After school, met Lovelies Fateha and Atiqah at cafe 1. Had a real good chat and laughter. Atiqah was poking our sensitive area and making us say stupid things. LOL! Me and teha's Chemistry is so strong that is affected Atiqah so much. LOL! Only we know. So the bus was late.. and ..

Teha : Can we just walk to another bustop?
Me : Ok, but if the bus pass us, I will whack you.
Teha : Ok! Lets cancel the bet. LOL!

cuncun, the bus came. Walked around and buy my contacts. Sat at Frolicks to cheer Atiqah up and the awkward moment starts. Thats when Farid came down to pass Teha a phone. OMG! So awkward. Teha and Atiqah was bugging me all the way. They trying to matchmake me with Farid. WTH! Not interested please! LOL! K, i just wanna talk alot today. I really have great friends around me.

2012-01-15T21:34:00.002+08:00

I wonder how does it feel to feel really beautiful. I mean I do know people have their imperfections/flaws but the way they hide it is oblivious to others. I admire girls who could conceal their flaws and also be themselves at the same time.

I wanna give this up. This guy, he's not for me. He wants attention like half the time and I can't possibly do that. By attention, I mean being pampered. I'm not that type of girl. He doesn't like 3/4 of the things I do. Am I like too perfect?

Anyway, last friday I went to Altitude and its like the funniest time I had there. Kak Iz was like aiming this guy from London and so, they came over to us. Oh, before that.. We were standing near a barricade and I'm looking at the dancefloor. The 2 guys got near us but was talking over a table in front. I couldn't be bothered cause I was looking at her friend, Yani , drinking her ass off with a group of young guys. Anyway, so they slowly approached us. The funny thing is Kak Iz got Manan, an 'indian' guy while I got Peter , an English guy. HAHAHAH! She couldn't be bothered about what happened but Peter continued talking to me. How funny. HAHAHA!

All night, the one that she's attracted to, wasn't attracted to her. LOL! They came to me instead. Decide to have breakfast at a near coffeeshop area. We laughed our asses off. Hairil came to pick us up. Thank you.

2012-01-08T01:21:00.002+08:00

I wish I have that kind of body. I mean, look at it!! Who doesn't want it? If this girl feels insecure, I really don't know what to say. Sigh, I'm so big&ugly.

I really tried doing all those routine. I tried it for a month. Sigh! I know the results are slow but sometimes, things that demoralized me are people. K, whatever.

Anyway, I'm currently dating this guy. He's not from Singapore but he stays in Singapore. HAHA! I always get people who are not from Singapore. I dont know why, dont even dare ask me why. Even my closest friend dont understand why. Tell you more about this guy, from my point of view..

He's simple, funny, cheeky. He loves to whisper, idky. Never knows why either. I can get instantly comfortable with him. He's not afraid of showing his love. From the very start, he's going way too fast. I thought he was the religious kind of person cause the way he talks is like "im-the-goody-type" but when you meet him in real, he's actually "im-the-goofy-type" . Haha! I met him only twice and twice he asked me whether I liked him. I do but just give me time. I still couldn't get over the last one.

Last thursday, I met him and we had a heart to heart talk. I told him that I'm kinda paranoid of having relationship cause of those previous ones. The silence was awkward but le sigh.. Dont even bother. Funny thing is, we had a tiff cause I dont like kids while he likes kids alot. Why does he even bother?

I dont know. Whenever I'm with him, it feels completely different. Different from when I'm with other guys. I feel contented, happy, speechless. I thought you're like some other guys out there but somehow, somewhere, you prove to me you're different. Not completely different, just a different feeling that gives me hope to hang onto you for awhile. Maybe after you've proven to me your worth, I'd give you my all?

It really feels damn awkward whenever he looks right at me. He stared. Then his lip biting and cheeky look. HAHAHAHHA! I just feel like slapping him. Like seriously! It really feels awkward but in a good way.

wait, I'm talking too much. Lets just end here. Hope I dont fall too fast this time and too hard.

2011-12-31T15:35:00.002+08:00

2011 has been a great year for Friendsips for me. Family isn't bad at all either, so overall. Its a great year for me. I hope this continues to a neverending journey of my life. Time passed so fast this year. I feel like its only June 2011. I don't ever wanna talk about relationships. It sucks big time for me like always. le sigh.

Anyway, 2012 resolutions for me is:

-be a better me.
-accomplish what I started
-go for my dreams
-do not give a damn to little problems
-What I wish, is what I get.

That's all folks.

2011-12-16T12:21:00.002+08:00

Hey babe. This is for you..

You'll be going off today. It's a sad thing for us to be apart for 2 years but its a good thing for you, you'll be back with a degree(ithink) in your hands. The time spent with you on the very last week you're here definitely mean most to us. You're one very good friend that I've ever had who stick with me through thick and thin for 6 years.

Although my memory is not so good, which you definitely know, I still remembered all those stupid stuff we did. Spending $21 just for NeoPrints in a day, the things that happened in Sentosa, how Mai, Cheryl & Pearlyn joined forces with us and etc.. Those were the good old days yea.

There's a lot to write but there's no time cause I wanna spend the very last moment with you. All of us do. Your bestfriends. We'll never forget you and we'll wait for your return :'D

2011-12-04T23:51:00.002+08:00

See the sadness in those eyes? I'm not bragging but really.. I'm just so so so so very sad. People are leaving me, either permanently or temporarily. One by one. Worse, they're the ones I love. The ones that stick with me through thick and thin. I know its not their choice, out of their boundary but neither of those reasons could change what I'm feeling. No, don't feel or say sorry.

People come & go. Be it the one you love most or your greatest enemy. Nothing stays forever, except the religion that you hold. Even we ourselves decompose and leave nothing on this earth. Whatever we're feeling right now are just temporary. In fact, everything is temporary. I do not know the idiosyncrasy of the term permanent in life anymore.

You got to admit, life is one hell of a mayhem if we do not set our priorities right. With technologies building up, economy going through downfall and etc .. we have to catch up on everything. Oftentimes, we cared too much about the world that we forgot ourselves. We forgot who we are. The world is full of richness that some destitutes out there are struggling to climb up the chart together with us. Everything is moving too fast and too improvise that sooner or later, we will forget how the world used to look like. The future generations will depend on modernized technologies instead of the hardships that the past generations tried to work on.

Hold it, maybe I should stop here. Maybe I'm to fucked about my studies and future. Goodnight.

2011-11-27T23:00:00.003+08:00

Let's just say, I'm ready to let things go and live life freely.

The sad point is, I still want to hold on to it. I would like to know the impossible truth. I know it sounds stupid but its just me. I love to find out the truth before letting things go, even if things are getting out of hand.

Well, lets put it straight here. I'm the kind of girl who cares for her best friends more than her boyfriend. I don't know why, don't ask. I tried to change but it only happens for like a week and everything is back to my old self. This is why relationships never really work out for me.

I gave up on relationships. You came and accepted me for who I am even though I'm giving you my shittiest attitude. Once in a while, you'll get pissed. I understand. You fight for what you deserve and what I need to give instead of always taking it. I realise I'm a selfish person when it comes to relationship but I couldn't help it. It's my nature. You taught me not to lie about my feelings, care for everyone around me. You taught me a lot. Thanks for everything my dear.

2011-11-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

I just wonder how you've been doing, what you've been up to? You're like gone with the wind into another direction. I'm just wondering, why the fuck did you pick me up when you have the intention to push me back down.

I remember the times you said "Remember, when no else is there for you. I'm here waiting to catch you. I'm still here. I like you too much to let you go for now" . Those words still lingers in my mind for goodness sake. "I'd do anything to make you happy. Your happiness means the world to me." I miss those sweet words you said to me. You prove to me a lot and now you're gone. WHY?

I'm just making myself to think positive about what is happening there to you. I just hope you're fine. Like for real, you're imperfectly perfect. Who doesn't want a guy like you? I just miss you too much right now that I feel like jumping into your arms and hug you tight. Not wanting to let you go. I can write a whole draft of what you mean to me but.. I just need to pour out everything here and get to sleep. I'm tired. You've been running through my mind all day and I've been chasing you.

2011-11-16T00:27:00.003+08:00

To think that I'll miss you this much, I didn't even thought I'd be. Where are you? I never know. I never would I guess. Even if you died halfway. Every day, it just sinks to the bottom. My heart.

When I first met you, everything seems so fine. You built me up the instance I fell to the ground. I tried pushing you away and you kept coming back. You tried to prove to me you're worth everything yet I just couldn't be bothered. Slowly, your presence worth everything to me. You're the one I talk to if I'm down, you're the one there for me whenever or wherever.

Your sudden disappearance overwhelms me too much. Maybe I'm addicted to you. Or maybe even, I started to love you just like the way you showed and prove to me you're worth my heart. I could type a whole paragraph of how sad I am but to sum it all up, the simpler words are "I miss you" .

You asked me what are the plans I've made, the fact is .. I wouldn't wanna disappoint myself if something happened to you and you couldn't make it. Every single day, I got worried. Don't, please.

2011-11-07T00:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I should believe what he says cause I don't believe in "I Love You" sincerity anymore. The sentence have been over-used from time to time. I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I mean, he's a good-looking chap, a handsome one indeed. So why would he wanna go with a normal looking, average girl like me? Makes no sense.

Its like a fairytale, Cinderella. A rich, handsome looking man going for a normal average looking girl. Putting aside this fairytale shit, he's somehow knows me inside out. He's there for me through my ups and downs. He reads my facial expressions. He abides to his promises. He's the guy every girl dreams of.

I feel like I'm no good for him. I'm trying to be better but each time I try, I'd say this to myself ... "Why bother? If he loves you, he just loves you" but it didn't seem to satisfy my point. He says I'm too negative. Yes I am, with him around.

He made me an exception to his life. He promise to be here with me through everything and never let me go. He made me smile like no other everytime. He knows the boundary of everything. He will go on his knees if he's sorry. He's the first to ever eagerly wanting to meet my parents. I mean, he's got the whole package every girl desire but I just don't think I deserve it.

He asked me if I would have fallen for him if he's here with me. I didn't know what to answer cause I didn't wanna hurt him with my answers. My feelings for him turns on and off. I'm bad, Im trying my best to like him. That's all.

2011-10-13T23:35:00.002+08:00

Like again, I've convinced myself to fall for another guy and end up hurting myself. I'm just too hooked with this feeling of love. I shall not put the blame on anyone. Once you felt love, you can't put a barrier on it. It's just a nice feeling.

I know I'm the type of person where I feel lots of love when we spend quality time with each other. When we fall in love, we would want to see them every single fucking minute. Why? cause we know before we felt love, we felt like we're hooked on that person. And when we're hooked, we will want to spend every single minute with them. By then, we would know their imperfections and slowly, love starts overwhelming you.

I wouldn't want to start slashing myself again. It hurts when you bathe, people around you will keep asking why, some will detest, some will walk away from you. It just really didn't make anything easy. The only thing that made it okay was it numb your emotional pain.

Reminder to self: If we're meant to be, I don't have to wait for you. You'll come to me cause I don't mind all the flaws you had. I just need someone who I can be comfortable with.

2011-10-07T15:21:00.003+08:00

I AM A HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY GIRL! ALL TIME LOW WAS SUPERBLY GREAT OK. WE GOT INTO THE FIRST ROW CAUSE OF SARA RUNNING FOR IT. OMG! THEY ARE REALLY REALLY OUT OF THE LEAGUE. IT WAS WORTH STANDING IN THE RAIN FOR 2.5 HOURS.

THE FIRST ACT BY DIRT RADICALS WAS GOOD! THEY WERE PLAYING HALFWAY AND A FEW PEOPLE GOT INJURED, INCLUDING THE SECURITY AND THE CAMERA MAN. HORRIBLE BUT IF NOT BECAUSE OF THEM, WE WONT BE SO CLOSE TO THE STAGE. THEY PLAYED ONLY A FEW SONGS CAUSE OF TIME CONSTRAINT.

ALL TIME LOW WAS AWESOME! JACK WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I MEAN IN FRONT OF SARA, ME AND MAI. WE GOT TO TOUCH HIM. HAHAHA! I KNOW WE SOUND LIKE A CRAZY FAN BUT THEY ARE JUST PERFECT! WE EVEN TOUCHED ALEX. HOW AWESOME? BUT ALEX HANDS AND FEET ARE COLD. BUT FUCK YEAH! IT WAS WORTH EVERY PENNY OF OURS. :DDDDDDDDD

K BYE!

2011-10-02T14:45:00.004+08:00

I wonder how the new semester for school will be. Too much for me to wonder every time. I'm not myself for the past few days. I have so much to worry for. Oh anyway, had a great time yesterday.

I went out with bestfriend. I was actually sleeping so soundly and didn't even bother to check my phone. Received a text and a missed call, so I called back at 5pm. We decide to explore some part out of town and my leg hurts. Nevertheless, it's good to be ourselves again. No awkward moment anymore. We hugged, he carried me, he took chances to kiss my head. Its just like us. I may sound like flirting but no. That is how the way we just are. :D We had dinner at Whopper Bar and 3 drunken Caucasians just decide to drop in and made a fool out of themselves. Was literally laughing the whole way. Sat by the river and talked, homed.

Anyway, as days goes by, I fell deeper for Sam. He's just a gentleman. I remembered I got into an accident and he told me to get my dad so he could talk to him. He also wanted me to get my mom so I could travel there to meet him since he's busy with work. I chose not to. He's just too sweet. He didn't sugarcoat any of his words. Remember I told you how we share this love-hate friendship, yea.. it's still going on. We still cuss and hate each other but at the end of the day, deep down, we still like each other the way it has been.

I couldn't stop looking at the picture below cause he talked too much about me and his colleague just decide to buy him one to tease him. But unfortunately, he gave it away to a kid in his apartment cause he hate that bird too much. haha! And I told him how my day was in pointers and asked him in return. This is what he said :

well i help u:
5. i dream about u all day long
6. i missed u all day long
7. i couldnt stop thinking about u all day long
8. i am just happy to c u
u want me to go on?!

I was literally shocked to see everything. I thought I was the only one who thinks about him. Its good to know that at least, we think alike :D though our differences made us fight a lot too.

Hey hun, I love everything about you. Please don't leave me yet.

2011-09-24T15:10:00.002+08:00

Just thought I'd post a picture of myself before I totally ignore this blog of mine. I'm really super lazy to blog. I mean, I will blog but not every time? Maybe after I reached 1000th post, I shall not post regularly. Monthly? Yea, good idea. Anyway, saw my red hair there? Yeap! I love it!

HEEEEEEEEEEE :D So yesterday went Universal Studio with birthday girls (Anu & Mai) , Pearlyn and Cheryl. HOES Forever? HEEE Lovelies! Our roller coaster rides were AWESOMMMEEE! I don't know how many times we took it but yea! Just awesome. We didn't want to waste our time to watch stupid shows there except the WaterWorld. Glad that the Birthday girls liked it. The only part where Im terrified was the Mummy guy chasing me near Battlestar Galatica. Damn you mummy guy! -.-"

After all that, our heads were so dizzy. Some went to vomit, some sat down to smoke. Lack of oxygen. And I wonder why we perspire so bad after taking the rides? Hehehe. Okay, and so today I was supposed to slack with Daniel but I totally forgot about it! Like seriously? I guess I'm too tired but its ok. He have his girlfriend to be with. Im so sorry Dan.

K, i met this guy. He's Sam from Persia. Quite a funny guy and we share this Love-Hate friendship. I kinda love how we are now. I don't want us to go further cause I'm scared things would turn upside down but I would love to try it. He a nice guy who loves to pick on me. Dont wanna elaborate more on him. Just that he admitted that he liked me. The way he told me is like .. I don't know how should I say it .. Read the conversation below.

S: I feel like Im in love .
M: HAHAHA! Whose the girl? (thought of being evil but .. )
S: The one and only fast girl ..
M: Huh? Do I know her?
S: Dont think so.. if u knew her u'd kill her.
M: ohh, haha.why? As if I will ever meet her. And Im not a killer.
S: u just killed some poor monsters and u r not a killer?!
M: haha, hey! they are monsters. I have to kill them. Unless she is, but i dont know her.
S: well that girl is also a monster in ur eyes.
M: If you're looking at me right now. I am giving that confused face.
S: Why is that?
M: cause. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
S: Nothing. forget it. So in the dark?
M: Come on. tell me.. dont change the subject.
S: tell u what?
M: what you have been talking about that confuse me for the past 10 mins.
S: too tired to read. tell me what do you wanna know.
M: Who was that monster girl. Got a pic of her?
S: u dont need one. got a mirror?! (;
M: Yea, right in front of me. why?
S: She's in there.
M: Wow, i see you love her reflection more than herself.

I was blushing in front of him cause we are webcamming. HAHAHA! I don't know what else to say. I'm scared if I were to ever say something wrong but I do admit I like him too (at least in my heart-.-) OMG! Now I'm talking like him. I just wanna see him more everyday. Makes me so happy and I feel like jumping around. If he's coming here, Im willing to take my time off school. HEEEEEE (: wait, its supposed to be :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Wide smile.

K, i don't wanna talk more. Bye!

2011-09-16T19:01:00.002+08:00

Its fucking over. Nearly 6 months of being together, thought its a mere perfect love. I was fucking wrong. Im sorry if this post is full of vulgarities. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't cry. I can't do anything right. I spend my time, thinking about you. I accidentally scalded myself while you're running through my mind. But what do I get in return? A FUCKING LIE!

You break me down so hard, I couldn't figure myself. I'm moving on in an instance. With the pieces of me that you left. I'm a total wreck right now. I was fucking delirious. I thought I was cautious enough about love, I'm wrong. This love was actually a travesty. I should actually love myself more than you. I should have figure out who I am before accepting others. I AM!

Thank you Anu for the words "IM GONNA GIVE YOU A HUG SOON! SORRY BOUT THE BREAKUP. BUT MAYBE ITS FOR THE BEST. HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU."

Thank you Enrique, Musti, Sashwat, German cute guy that I didn't get your name, French guy, Boston guy and those strangers out there who successfully cheered me up. I owe it to you.

2011-09-11T15:16:00.002+08:00

I wish to be free from my own miseries. I wish to enter the world full of enlightenment. And I know, all this are just fantasies. I can never get enough of my own fantasies. They're just so perfect. Everyone have their own perfect world. It's us who created it.

Maybe this time, Karma hit me so hard on my face. I used to play out so many guys but this time round, I was played out. 1st, this relationship didn't work out cause he didn't have any trust on me. He thought I was talking to guys out there. I stopped talking to guys since I knew him. I knew I wanted him in my life, I needed him cause I feel a sense of protection. I don't know how, just don't ask me. 2nd, it didn't work out cause I didn't have time for him. WTF? Yes, I tried my fucking best to be there when he needed me. What do I get in return? THIS?

Where were you when I needed you? When you step upfront, asking me to give you my time. I DID! So where's mine? To think that you don't like it, SO DO I! For 2 fucking days, I needed you. To be fucking close to me, what happened? What if I asked you, where's my time? What would you say? If you say you have work, I'd say I too have things to do. We all have things around us to care about.

Look, I don't want things to fall apart. I want it to be like how we used to be. Like the first month we got together. I want everything to be beautiful. This will never happen right? I guess so. What happens now, may I ask? )':

2011-09-03T00:39:00.002+08:00

Every damn fucking day, I need him to end my day sweetly. Yes, I'm hooked on him. The way he treats me its like no other. Yes, I may be talking a lot of bad things about him but.. In actual fact, he's better than all the guys out there. Sorry to say this but even he out-beat my guy friends out there. IDGAF anymore to what kind/sarcastic words I'm gonna say cause now, I GOT THE GUTS TO SAY ANYTHING!

I don't really care if you hurt me or not cause I've been hurt upteen number of times that I'm tired of it already and the numbness is overwhelming every part of me. I can't even bother to cut myself anymore. Hah! Talk to my hand you guys. Look around me, I have the most awesome people who is standing by me to catch me when I fall.

I am not looking forward to anything right now. I can't go for today's Foam Party at Azzura is already a disaster. Thanks to the examination! So, don't piss me off. I am just looking forward to see my bf and him to end my day sweetly! Plus my awesome girlfriends. :D

2011-08-30T14:32:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone. Happy Celebrating Eids to all you Muslims out there. Awesomezxc isn't it? Getting green packets and getting together after a month of fasting. Hahhh! It's not to me. Yes, I celebrate Eids for the sake of my own religion. But just for 1 day cause my last prophet (messenger of god) , Nabi Muhammad , celebrated it for one day.

Then, for the rest of the 1 month which you guys still consider it "Eids" and ask me out, I may be reluctant to go but for the sake of gathering too. :) OHHH! IM SO FUCKING KINDDD! bleah -.-" Got nothing more to write, just that exams are coming soon. So yea, happy eids once again.

2011-08-27T01:14:00.002+08:00

Well, it happens that I have a free spared time here so I guess I'll just post a little. Been busy with test and exam coming up on 5th and 7th September. Well, am trying to put in so much effort in it and WALAAAAAAAAA! I hope I can do it.

Weeks passed and some of the days, I just feel like whacking the shit out of everyone. Some days, I just feel like partying on my own. Yeah, I sound like some aggressive loner. Can't help it. I just feel like there's only a certain people I wanna keep with me, and a certain that should just go. I can't stand people like wanting to follow every movement I did. I mean, WTF? BUZZ OFF! Not to be rude or something, I'll only acknowledge some of the people I know when I'm outside. Who cares, Imma just speak my mind bruh!

Nothing more to write. So yeaaa, all you ugly couples out there.. Go fuck yourself! All you posers out there, hang yourself somewhere unknown. All you fuckers out there, kindly turn around and plank somewhere extremely dangerous. Idc whether I sound rude or mindless, stop telling me what to do or what NOT to do cause you ain't in my position right now CUNTS!

2011-08-13T23:14:00.002+08:00

Sup bitchezxc ? Been reading my blog or following me up-slash-stalking-slash-soon bitching about me ? Hahaha, am not gonna post what I did every second of my life here maynnn! Why? Here's the reason why? *getting self-pissed* I grew up every moment. My brain cells renew itself to make me realise how most things around me are unimportant . I MUST NOT go around telling people how's my life going around cause all you crazy bitches will go "ZOMG, You're totally insane. Or WTF? Or WhateverShitThatWillBeComingOutFromYourMouth"

My previous post, I said I wanna do some catch-ups on my studies right? Nah, I literally dumped the whole chunk aside and sleep more than I should! AWESOMZXC. It feels so good! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA! The temptation of clubbing is overwhelming me again and again and again and again. I miss having Cranberry Vodka, Redbull Vodka, Cocktails and a whole lot more! OHHH YAAA! If my family is counting down at KL, I SWEAR IMMA GO THEIR CLUBS AND DANCE MY ASS OFF JUST LIKE CHRISTMAS! HAHAHAHAH! I remembered going to a random pub in KL, not forking out a single cent, and just dance dance dance. The awesome times with her. Love it alot.

Oh yes, me&bf kinda fall apart this week. We fought, we lost trust, we nearly lost each other but we slowly stood up. We cleared things up, we persevered, sacrificed things. Wait! the sacrificed things are done by me. LUUUULLLL! Cause I mess up. BIG TIME! I thought this month no fight. BloodyCow! Anyway, I kinda like the person for who he is now. Ya know, a lot of people said I prefer a gentleman but I PREFER a bad guy who has a gentle side cause I know I'm not a perfect girl which a guy could asked for. Being a little bad is kinda attractive, like they have the ability to protect you when someone tries to harm you. :) At the same time, he’s gotta be gentle, there’s just something about a bad boy who can be tamed… only by you. He showed me his weapons that he kept in his room, the fights he's been into and stuff. I know this sounds weird but as bad as it sounds, its kinda attractive. Our conversations but have its difficulties but as long as we understood each other, its fine.

2011-08-06T20:54:00.003+08:00

Wanderlust.

I've been having that since I don't know when. Or I could say, everyone have that kind of feeling. I feel bad for not talking to him when I know I felt the vibration. I just couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and type. Sorry dear. Maybe tonight? I hope so. I wanna see you ):

Some say I'll be better without you
But they don't know you like I do
Or at least the sides I thought I knew

I cant bear this time
It drags on as I lose my mind
Reminded by things I find
Like notes and clothes you left behind

Wake me up, wake me up when all is done
I wont rise until this battle's won
My dignity's become undone

But I wont go
I can't do it on my own
If this aint love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

I wont go
I can't do it all alone
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

So petrified, I'm so scared to step into this ride
What if I lose my heart and fail declined?
I wont forgive me if i give up trying

I heard his voice today
I didn't know a single word he said
Not one resemblance to the man I met
Just a vacant broken boy instead

But I wont go
I can't do it on my own
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

I wont go
I can't do it all alone
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

There will be times
We'll try and give it up
Bursting at the seams, no doubt
We'll almost fall apart then burn the pieces
To watch them turn to dust
But nothing will ever taint us

I wont go
I can't do it on my own
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

I wont go
I cant do it all alone
If this ain't love, then what is?
I am willing to take the risk

Will he? will he still remember me?
Will he still love me even when he's free?
Or will he go back to the place where he would chose the poison over me?

When we spoke yesterday,
You said to hold my breath. to sit and wait
I'll be home so soon, I wont be late.

He wont go
He cant do it on his own
If this ain't love, then what is?
He's willing to take the risk

So I wont go
He cant do it on his own
If this ain't love, then what is?
We're willing to take the risk

Cause he wont go
He cant do it on his own
If this ain't love, then what is?
We're willing to take the risk

I wont go
I cant do it on my own
If this ain't love, then what is?
I'm willing to take the risk

-Adele

Think I'll be rarely posting here cause I'm sooo lazy. I have Music+Academic studies to catch up on. Man, my life is so hectic. Oh ya, stop saying my English is good and I supposed to get a pass instead of the grade I got. Mann, I had a hard time there trying to stay awake and putting pieces together.

2011-08-04T00:06:00.002+08:00

Missing him k. Done, said it. :D He probably just woke up and lazy to go online cause his bedroom is at the 4th story of his house. DAMN! Put your damn computer in your living room then. Or some easy access. But as long as I know I've got you, I'm okay with it.

OHHHH HELL YEA, finally I get to meet Pearlyn. Like I don't know for how many gazillion years she has gone missing. School was a bore as usual. Had our last kick boxing session and quickly get home. Anu was lucky cause when I see her text the moment I woke up, it was just 7 minutes ago. Nice quick nap. Met her at CP and slack.

I really don't understand why Filipinos looove to talk so loud. I mean, I can't even hear my own voice while talking. Not to criticize but please lower it down. Damn, was there an amplifier in your throat? tsk! So Pearlyn and Belinda(but went home after that) came down. Chat and laugh a whole lot. I miss a lot okay. I miss us not giving a fuck to the world, just being us and fool around. Done a disaster without getting caught. We are sleek I guess (: Homed at 11pm. Can't believe reach home at 12am? How long does it take to walk from CP to my house? 1hour? Total bullshit but yes it does wonders.

Nowadays, I don't look forward to school anymore. It's like nothing to me. The only reason I came was to study now. The fun is all gone. I guess I'm really sticking to my Sec Sch cliques, HOES. They're like the best I've met so far. Though my current friends can be fun, but their fun isn't compared to the fun I'm having with the HOES. Many atrocious things we've done, yet idk the right word to describe it. Whatever, bye :D

2011-07-31T12:58:00.009+08:00

Well, you do care after all. Thanks for making my morning. Thanks for ending my July in a pleasant way. Sorry that I have so many doubts on you. You definitely have the patience to handle my attitude. The feeling of waking up to that text was awesome. Not talking to you for 3 weeks and being able to just now, feels like I'm flying to the clouds. Haha, joke.

Anyway, had fun fooling around with him. Glad that we could be ourselves again (: He called me small. Have he seen my friends? They're much more smaller than me. Haha, but he gained weight cause the intake of supplement, I don't really care! Hahaha! Oh, he wouldn't let me take a picture of him but he took a picture of me. -.-" I was pissed/stunned for a split second but everything was okay (: Hahaha. You'll see, next time I'll take a photo of you. Hahahaha! Serve you right.

He knows I'm sad and decide to stay for a while even if he have to go to bed. Well, thank you for making me feel important. Hahaha! I miss him giving me a big smile. I miss him giving me a huge big kiss and telling me he loves me. I miss everything about that guy and just now when I look at him, I asked him.

"Why do you look so handsome today?"
and he replied
"Because I know I'll be seeing you."

I swear I was laughing my ass off. Okay, I know I'm bragging now but dude, I'm happy. All my problems are washed away for a moment. Not happy? 2 GIF for you, look below.

2011-07-30T21:53:00.003+08:00

I have nothing much to post actually. My week has been in ups and downs. I've survived depression for 3 weeks. The crucial time was this week. I feel like banging someone's head into the wall and for worst, I actually thought of getting a car to hit me. Wow right? I know. Pretty much bad. Maybe for some, it's extremely bad.

I wanna feel free again! I wanna do whatever I want without having any boundaries. I wanna achieve a whole lot of things. My dreams aren't meant to be fantasized! I wanna go against every current that are pushing me to the wrong edge. I don't wanna fall off the wrong cliff. I wanna swim in the clear ocean. I WANNA BE DELIRIOUS AGAIN!

For now, I wanna shut the world off. I wont be caring about any shit. I'll just ask why but I won't bother to hear anything. Get me ? And boyfriend, happy belated 4th month. I've said sorry too many times. I tried but I'm the kind who socialize. I guess the 4th month is bad. I hope in the month of Ramadhan, everything will get better. I turn to you, Allah s.w.t in search of happiness and cure of sadness. In sickness and in health. Amin.

2011-07-24T12:04:00.002+08:00

This might be the ending. This might also be the beginning. Depending on how we take it. I'm trying very hard to be positive here so don't bring me down if you truly care about me. I'm going through a lot here so if I'm bringing myself down, I could really use a shoulder. Me/Family and Boyfriend are going through rough time now. I am definitely not enjoying any of my time right now. The only thing that made me forget all this are my cousins.

I am not going to state every problem I'm facing but I just need people to understand if I were to push them off me. I know it's not a very nice gesture but that is the only thing I know what to do. And so I guess every problem can be found in each and every corner of every turn in our life. This is why they say wise decision have to be made.

Most of the time when I think back about what has been happening in my life, I'm paralyzed by fear .. by sadness . What have I done to myself? I have only myself to blame. I'm sorry for putting too much pressure on you, heart ):

Keep this thing apart, I hope Anu is okay. Don't move yourself away from us. It's just a temporary emotion. Calm down okay love.

2011-07-17T14:54:00.002+08:00

Down, Vulnerable, Melancholy .. Whatever shit you can think of now which is positively negative is what I may be feeling right now. I've done whatever shit I could so that I could surpass every girl out there that you've known. This is the shit I get back? BRAVO! This is extensively pathetic. Look, I can't always be good. I can't always follow your orders. I have my deranged moments. Call me bipolar for all I care but those are the things I adequately hide from you. The times that I feel like letting you go are the times where my heart told my head to hold me back. I held back upteen times. Hah! I guess having a rich soulmate but they having no time to spend on you are very much a waste of time. Still, I miss you.

Whatever it is, this week was bad. Most of the times, I feel so weak. I hold myself back from doing almost everything in school. I stayed in my room, not letting my thoughts out of these four walls. I cried, I cheered myself up, I did everything on my own. I tried to let out my feelings to YL but failed. She's the closest I have in school. We both understand each other pretty much. I just couldn't put my thoughts to words. I don't wanna seem weak in school. Every single fucking time I thought about this situation, I just jellied. I feel like a sore loser most of the time.

Anyway, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 were indescribable . I just can't put to words. A lot of the characters put me to tears. Especially Severus Snape and the part where Harry Potter got hold of the resurrection stone. How I wish magical world existed. Though life may throw bricks on us, we would still stand tall. Wow, I sound so wise. That's my phrase I made my own. All hail to me. PFFFT, we'll see how long my situation continues.

2011-07-12T23:16:00.000+08:00

This is just gonna be a rough post cause I do not really wanna drag things. So, Monday was the re-opening of school term (which kinda suck for a moment cause my eyes was causing too much trouble). I kept on winking and rubbing my eyes cause of my contact lens. The uncomfortableness is unbearable. But overall, it's great. My friends are being so cute and I'm happy cause I'm glad things between us(Me&YL) never changed. Pretty much had a tiring day.

Today was a good day I'd say. I woke up fresh even though its late. Decide to call Az since she's late every day. Our class starts at 8, we went in at 9. AWEEEESSOMMEEE! I was waiting for her at Small MacD beside a small dead tree. Feels like I'm guarding the tree. Sports&Wellness was AWESOME TOO! Netball was missed. Me and Prabby played Wing Attack(WA) and from then on, we started calling each other wawa. CUTE MAN! HAHAHA! After lab, slacked with Az , Amin , Redza and Fatin. HAd a good time. LUL! Really, i had. Epic conversations although I've just met them.

Redza : Eh , you like me ?
Me : Huh? o.o" what? -.-"
Redza : Aiya, faster say you like me!!
Me : CRAZYYY!

Lol, cause he was depressed no girls like him. Oh my, I miss Amin and Az already. I still feel so so so so very guilty about what happened in the bus. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you, Amin. I let them assume so. I know you are angry but I promise I will find them for you so you'll get revenge.

oh ya, to anyone is trying to be me. 1 word, DON'T. You can't be me cause none of you guys are cute enough. I have the special ability to bitch face people so stop before I do that to you. You can't bully others the way I do cause that just makes you looked like a copycat. You can't think the way I do cause you'll look retarded. Seriously, just be yourself cause you have to and STOP TALKING WHEN YOU KNOW NONE OF US ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS. Damn, you guys are giving me headaches every time. But nevertheless, you guys are still my friends.

2011-07-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hah, you still dare say you miss us when all you guys have done is TALK BEHIND OUR BACKS. What? Does our back look so attractive to you guys? WTF? Does our back respond to you guys when you guys were talking to it all along? Loud Applause to you guys. Sometimes .. no wait .. Most of the times, I don't understand you guys.

2011-07-06T23:57:00.001+08:00

Life is going pretty smoothly right now. I'm lovin' it although I am soo damn bloody busy on the last week of my holiday. Even though I started the week by worrying and crying a lot, he made me smile on tuesday. Also, not forgetting Anu. Talking about Anu, she just told me this "Do you realise that the only ones who is entertaining you whne you start your crap is only Pearlyn and Cheryl? Me and Mai will just sit one corner and do our own things till you stop cause you will stop at any point of time". Yea, thanks for letting me notice that. Still, I won't change and will continue to bother you guys. Love you.

Well, now. He's more likely to be open to me rather than 3 months ago. I guess we're getting comfortable with each other. The words that he says now is getting even surprising. LOL! We all know he have vocabulary problems but yea, he changed a lot. Oh, this Saturday's plan is a total wreck. Just thought of enjoying myself before school starts but something came up. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, bye. Gonna meet my CB eyes tomorrow. Gonna sleep with love now.

2011-07-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

I'm just worried. That's all. Please don't say I didn't get a chance to say I LOVE YOU. I'm sorry if the last time you ask for it and I decide not to answer you cause I was just being cheeky. Oh god, don't let anything happen to him. OMG, I feel like crying already. Please don't leave just yet. I'm literally practically worried )':

2011-07-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

I have been meeting Kak Iz for 3 days. Which makes it 36hours of looking at her face. Nevermind, it doesn't get boring. So 1st day of meeting that kid was for Manicure and supper session. But it ends up to be Gossiping positively about her friends (: 2nd day was a trip to Mummy's(Kak shilla mom) new house with Kak Ati. 3rd day was to Parkway and to Chalet.

So, I have no comment on that chalet. First of all, I literally woke up at 11 when we're suppose to meet at 12. POWER! Got ready and met Kak Iz at her house. Waited for her to finish getting ready takes another 1hour. Proceed to Kak Ati's house. Waited again for another hour. My dad decided to send us to Parkway cause we are just kiling time before the party starts. Walked, trying to find present but failed. Slacked at Starbucks with my Mom and Dad and them too. TOO COOL TO BE TRUE CAUSE THAT'S THE FACT. HAHA!

Proceed to chalet. Talked alot to Ibu(Kak Ila's mom) cause she was asking me about my boyfriend. HAHAHA! Then I told her that I wanna find one guy there. She otld me to choose either left or right so that she can slap me. HAHHA! Ate a little bit and I was forced to play a game. I was just like lying on the floor in the room and I was dragged the whole way out by papawak and paman eddy. WAAAAAAAAAAA! I was literally dragged to the BBQ area. HAHA! Kak Iz was being carried towards the grass. LOL!

I was damn freaking tired I tell ya. Oh well, nothing beats the family bonding. I feel like we're getting closer and closer. I totally love it. So when Kak Ati, Kak Ila, Kak Shilla and Kak Iz went home already, I was left alone. The kids there super funny. I was lying on the bed, then I was treated like a princess. LOL! Irsyad fanned me. Dina massage me. Israf feed me. The rest of the kids went idk where. LOL! Its nice to get treated like that. HAHAHAH! Me and Faisal decided to leave Firdaus alone to take the lift. Testing his braveness but he ran towards the house right after reaching the floor. HAHAHAH! Homed. Tired and my boy is busy nowadays. Well, as long as he's okay. I'm totally fine with it.

Oh, did I say my boy and my brother gets along pretty well. They're gonna squash each other when they meet. I'm not gonna be there to watch. LOL! Hmm, Happy belated 3rd monthsary to us. I will always love you. Only you ^^ (Sound mushy? yea)

2011-06-30T15:25:00.000+08:00

STUPID BLOGGER. Can't upload pictures. Oh, the reason I did not post much nowadays is because it's just getting too boring. My life, yes. Full of boring things to-do list. Wish I could turn back time to December 2009 to May 2010. It was the best times of my life. Everyday I kept going out and spent freely.

Too bad, it feels like I've lost my life now. I know I can go out at night and have a great time but I'm over it. Take over my life if you want to. It's not about the people I'm going out with is boring. They're fun people to be with but the things I foresee makes me think so. Sometimes, the things I foresee happens. Lol, and that is the reason why I can't be bothered with some people.

I just feel like taking out the money in my bank and head straight to the airport right now. Just fly to anywhere and have a shitload of fun with strangers. Nah, just saying. I have to have somebody to go with me. Maybe I should check on him first before proceeding to anywhere. HAHAHA! I know, lame shit right. Don't have to remind me.

Anyway, the beach outing with my new classmates are okay. The suckers and fuckers all just literally went super crazy. HAHA! Thought of tanning but the wind won the sun. Oh yea, some people are just too irritating so my "can't be bothered" face and attitude are on. Hawhaw. SHITFACE. _|_

2011-06-24T22:45:00.001+08:00

Well, had an awesome Sleepover at Anu's crib. Oh, before that .. Happy 18th Birthday Pearlyn. Hope you like what I gave you (; It's nothing much but it's for your greatest future ya know (;

Hahah! Love you (:

So her birthday celebration was at Marche. It was nice :DDD Bought White rum[Superior] and head to Anu's crib. The sleepover was wicked. Circle of death and be lucky was awesome. Too bad it lasted for a while. Twister as usual and they dance their way all night while I keep rushing to the toilet cause of bladder problem. No, everyone had bladder problem. LOL! While everyone went to sleep at 4, Me and Mai decided to watch some ass movie but instead .dotdotdot. LOL! Slept till 10 and Cheryl&PeiYun gone. WOOOHH, ninja moves. We didn't even know they went home. Mai went home and Me and Anu continued sleeping . :DDDDD HAHA!

Too tired to care about the world. I didn't even spent my night with him. Oh yea, somebody out there is woo-ing me but I guess he decided to give up today (: See how easily a guy could fall when I snap my fingers. By fall, I mean walk away. It has always been like this. Whatever it is, my motor of "Hard to get" is always with me.

2011-06-22T22:19:00.002+08:00

Looks like a perfect couple isn't it? With his sexy facial hair that suits him, his smile and her beautiful facial contours. Oh, how I wish I am the girl. HAHAHAH! But I like these 2 couple a lot. Suit with each other. :DDDDDDD

Anyway, quite or rather disappointed with him. Like seriously? You went to the beach till like forever? and came back in the morning? PHSK! But this week started off quite good. Spend quality time with him :D Whenever I look at him, there's a big wide smile on my face and started biting my lips. Also Happy when he's around cause we joke a lot more than we used to. Less fights/jealousy and stuff. HAHAHA! Coming to 3 months with him (: IM A SURVIVOR! LOL! Hope things doesn't have to end with us. Idky I begin to take this quite seriously when I know I can disappoint myself at the end. Maybe I'm ready to get hurt but not when I'm having fun with him please.

Okay, I shall not rant much on him. Been busy with stuff I have to clear during this term break. I miss Anuuuuuu! Hahahhahaha, what's not to miss. I was laughing all the way throughout the phone conversation. DAMN! K bye, gonna have a romantic moment with him while I'm entertaining some crazy guy in my text message.

2011-06-19T14:53:00.001+08:00

Hi my muscular guy! HAHA! I MISS YOU a lot. Sorry I didn't have time spend with you this week. Too busy with school and test. I know you miss me too, way lot more than I do. Haha! Get your Big body here and I'll rape you (: LOL!

Saw a package flight to his area. Too bad, have to give it a pass cause I have so much plans for this term break. :D Anyway, went out with Ahcap yesterday. Our plan was a super random one. Nowhere to go, end up going for a game of pool! OMG! I SWEAR IM ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT! not with him but looking at one of this punjabi guy. HAHAH! SO HANDSOME! oh yah, before playing pool .. There's this cute caucasian standing right in front of me staring blankly while waiting for his friend. PHSK! Feel like snapping his attention. Too cute okay.

Thought of going to Pink Dot event yesterday but emm, i dont know where is it. LOL! After pool was the worst plan of all. Met Azhari, Rusy, Farhan, Umar, Huda and Is. This is what we did.
Dinner , silent moment : BORING! Played arcade : Okay! Slacked at scape : BORING + BUTT PAIN. Aniz AND Azri came : BORED!
What I did after that, Went home cause they're going grandlink. IDK HOW I SHOULD STRESS THIS BUT I DONT LIKE GOING TO GRANDLINK OKAY?!?! ugh!

Friday was an epic day. Rush home from taking test. Mad at my dad for not sending me to Vivo cause I was late for a movie with Fazlin, Munirah, Valerie and Fateha but nah, its ok. Watched Ladaland and slacked at rooftop while eating dinner. Had a great laugh. Can't wait for the Sentosa outing.Lazy to post more. Bye.

2011-06-14T21:59:00.004+08:00

K, maybe a short post for this? I've been keeping myself busy for the holidays. No wait! Even before holiday, my days are packed like hell! Busy slacking. HAHA! Nah, test have been keeping me busy. After this post, I'll buzz off to study.

My family chalet was a great one altogether. Smile widely. Had a blast on all 3 days and 3 nights.

After school on friday, straight away went down to chalet and slacked. Pearlyn and Belinda came down to accompany. Wait! no, they were playing with the kids. Damn! Feel so lonely. HAHA! Sent them home and slacked with Hairil, Manaf and Kak Iz. Sleep till 6am. LOLOL!

Since Irsyad, Saiful and Danish weren't asleep. Asked them out for a morning breeze walk. Watch the Sunrise halfway and Danish spoiled the moments LOL! He needs the toilet urgently. Didn't sleep. Swam with the Kids and BBQ starts. FUCK YEA! Birthday and Father's day celebration celebrated. Lots of laughters and photos taken. Ran around and play in the rain with the kids once in a while and caught a mild fever. This is why I never liked playing in the rain. LOL! Ahcap came down. Fetched Din (Kak Iz's Friend) along with Kak Shilla and Farhanah. AHHH! Awesome people. Hairil came down later with Car. Fetched Kak Shilla and Farhanah home and backed to chalet. Damn tired. Decided to go for some super bowl with Ahcap and I lost. FUCK or what? So paiseh. Told Kak Iz and Hairil to fetch him home. Slept at 6am.

Woke up at 10. So drowsy that I kicked all my cousins to shut the fuck up. LOL! I know I'm bad but what to do. Still, swam with them and played around. BBQ again and More more more more fun! YAYYYY! HAHAHAH! Awesome cousins I have. YEAAAAAAAA! Meeting them this thursday. weeeeeeeehuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

K bye. Mom is letting me hold my money which has idk how much in there. I could use those for travelling. HAHAHA!

2011-06-07T20:28:00.002+08:00

Heyho, merry-low. I am kinda content with my life right now just that most of the times I have to rush everywhere to get the things I want. For now, I have to put him aside in order to put my life into a straight road though there will be bumps/humps.

Last Sunday, had brunch with Family and relatives at Johor. My brothers were so annoying and talking among themselves and cursing each other that I have to throw things at them. But they're funny. I just had to call Firdaus gay cause he said his weight is 49kg. To me, 49 kg is considered a gay weight for guys. :P Who cares right cause I like big muscular guys. Shopped after that watched Kungfu Panda 2 at Jusco. WHY? because our parents forced us to go in to watch movie while they go on a date. PFFFTTTT! The cinema was okay just that the lights weren't on and I nearly tripped and fell at a high gradient. WTF?!?

I didn't go to school on Monday and decided to spend my time with him. The thought of skipping NAPHA was totally disastrous. I had a sudden diarrhoea. Went to the doctor with weak bladder. The most concerning people in my class is only Yan Lin. Lol, she text me like the whole freaking day talking rubbish as always. I think the rest of my class decided to give up cause I didn't reply their text when I dont feel like it. Nah, but the person that I liked to text most in my class is Yan Lin.

OHHH! I HAD MY VERY FIRST DRIVING LESSON TODAY. SO COOL! OMG, I REALLY LIKED IT ALOT. HAHA! my instructor was a funny man though I'm realy uncomfortable with it. Had my test drive in the circuit. YAY! gonna ask my dad to LET ME DRIVE HIS CAR IN AN OPEN CAR PARK! please please please! HEEEE! Oh, ya. Had to rush back to school for Practical assignment. I don't know a single thing about Simple Distillation set up. But I was lucky that the teacher just asked me a few question which is basic. I thank HIM for not giving me too much pressure. Oh, had to take my NAPHA tomorrow together with Din and Yan Lin. SADDDD! and a few things happened. I had a major headache and so I can hardly remember where I put my things. I started panicking asking for my IC and HP.

Me : WHERE'S MY PHONE? OMG!! *starts jumping around*
Aisha : It's here. In your pocket. -.-"
Me : Oh! thank you. Hees (: I love you.

Few moments later.

Me : OMG, WHERE'S MY IC! DAMN IT!
Fazlin : Where you put?
Me : Good question. In my wallet. Now gone.
Valerie : Aiya! *search my bag*
Fazlin : Wa, I think Din's bag more neater than yours la.
Me : Aiya, so lazy. Help me find faster!
Fazlin : *Turn over my wallet* This is not your IC ah?
Me : OH! hahahhahah! cannot blame me la.
Din : Eh, stop it eh you. Everything dont know.
Me : Major headache la bitch! Cannot focus.

HAHAHAHAHA! Epic ah me today and they treated me like a gullible kid today. I feel so cheated by them la. Phsk! Ok bye. Headache still here.

2011-06-04T15:13:00.004+08:00

Was supposed to meet Yan Lin and the rest for Blood Donation but after chatting with boyf, I was dozing off till I totally forgot about it. SORRRRRYYY PEOPLE! Zirca on 11th was totally a bad date. Sorry Az and sorry to my Hoes cause 11th I can't make it for USS. I have Family Chalet. Wont be allowed out. Nevertheless, I love you guys okay.

ANYWAY~~

It's good to see this again whenever he pops up. The thought of not going online today morning was really dreadful but I just went on. LOLOLOL! He made my morning. Thank you very much eventhough yesterday was a rough start. Epic conversation

Him : Have you eaten?
Me : not yet. Why?
Him : Go cook something ok.
Me : I don't know how to cook huns.
Him : How are you going to marry me?
Me : Ok, you teach me how to cook.
Him : What do I get in return?
Me : I don't know. A slap?
Him : pffffff. 1 thing.
Me : What?
Him : Kiss me every morning and before I go to work.

Sounds like those typical love/romance sequel/movie isn't it? hahah and it made me go o.o" when he talked about marriage. OMG, am just 18 but it made me smile cause the thought of breaking up was forgotten. OH! MAYBE THAT IS WHY, WHENEVER WE THOUGHT OF LEAVING EACH OTHER, THERE WILL BE SOMETHING TO DISRUPT IT. There was a time he changed in front of the cam, wooooooooooooo. Hot hot hot! heees (:

Tomorrow breakfast with family at Johor. Not to be R.U.D.E or anything but how I wish that whole country don't exist. I mean they're biased and they look at foreigners as if we owe them BIG TIME. puh-lease! People! Look at yourself and see where you're standing before glaring at them. Fucker _|_

2011-06-03T20:17:00.004+08:00

OHHHHH YEA! It's the end of school week. 2 more weeks to go and it will be term break. So apparently I decided to give school a miss on tuesday and go out with Anu. Met her at polyclinic and headed down to "deserted" shopping mall, which is Junction8. It wasn't deserted at all. Decided to watch INSIDIOUS and that scared the shit out of me. DAMN! LOL! Pity Anu cause 1/4 of the large popcorn was thrown on her due to the scary sound effects. Sorry babe, seriously but lucky you that I didn't hold a cup of coke :D Be thankful okay or you'll be soaking in there (:

FUCK YEAAAAA! like finally I tried Kick Boxing. So funnnnn! Since me and Valerie are of the same height and strength, we partnered up. SOOO COOOL! I get to kick her gently and she just have to kick me HARD! So, I punched her hard. We returned what we get. Munirah got the worse, I got to grab her legs cause she's of a petite size. So funny. The instructor said I'm scary to fight with. DUUUUDEEEE! Seriously? I'm so soft! -grins-

The thought of going Shisha with Az today was canceled cause I overslept. I think she's also sleeping now from the time I text-ed her. Okay, chill. Have to study for upcoming test. Bye.

2011-05-31T22:22:00.002+08:00

Do we really have to repeat this cycle? Do we really have to seek our own lives? Why are you doing this to us? Is it for the better , or is it for the worst? You seem to be avoiding every pain you're bearing on your own. You tried to be fine but you got the worse of it. To think that you're suffering this on your own, are you thinking about what I'm going through too? It is not as if we wanted to. We both need each other often times. The only barrier is distance.

Maybe all these while, your words are just alphabetical lies. I walked into your unknown trap, thinking everything would be fine. I guess this is the game where we call it mousetrap. Needless to say, once I'm trap , it's hard to free oneself. You caught my tail. I'll just bear with the pain, pulling it slowly to get through the maze.

All sorts of utterance remains unknown. Whether is it true, or is it just an abreaction. You seem to ignore every question concerning about us. Maybe you thought I'm a nice girl and you don't want to hurt me so much. Never mind me about getting hurt cause I don't know what it feels like anymore. I've held on through bad times and tried to let go a little during good times. I don't want to be clingy on you when the time comes. Now, all I did was asked. You answered me with a question. For now, we seek our own life. In future, I hope you remember there is someone here who is willing to take you back.

2011-05-29T20:06:00.002+08:00

DROOL ON MY HOTNESS BITCHES! HAHAHA!

See how seductive I can be? Yumyumyum. Turned on yet? My kissable lips will touch every part of your body. Licking your lips till you want more. I'll look into your eyes and tell you that you're all mine tonight. My hand will caress every part of you. I'll make sure you will have a whole lot of fun tonight. We'll stop at nothing till the sun rise and be back on our personal lives.

HAHAHA! okay, should stop or my blog turn into a sex blog. I haven't been doing anything at home. Just that I didn't know by practicing on my electone, I could sweat like I've run a 2.4km. Seriously. I've been thinking about my future lately so I'm committing to what I'm doing right now.

Oh, I've been searching on what type of cars I should buy since I'm taking my driving license. I don't wanna share car with my dad cause he's using it every weekend and I wanna use it too. I ain't gonna buy a big car which is like 7 plus people could fit inside. Just maybe 4-5 people or in fact 2 people. I just need that car for driving myself to teach people. :D

SCHOOL TOMORROW ! Not looking forward towards anything this week.

2011-05-27T17:25:00.002+08:00

Epic eh my friends -.-" He posted it on the class group cause during AC phase test, he was looking at me and laughing the whole way not knowing how to do. It's so funny! So my lappy was down for like I think 3 days. I can still live without lappy (:

So yesterday, my class had an excursion to RSAF. It's quite interesting! Really. Me and Daniel were roaming together leaving the class to search for us under the freaking hot sun. HAHA! I get to sit in the airplane of F-15. So cool! with so many confusing buttons. When we got back together with the class, everyone was giving that "pissed" face. Sorry

and not a fuck was given (:

HAHAHA! okay, really. We are sorry, we meant it. School have been a real drag. Thought of missing school for a few times but the thoughts just had to cut off my mind. My attendance for this week is full! AWESOME! I had an epic conversation with Yan Lin. We talked about guys underwear and how they pee. HAHAHAH! Daniel heard us and he just decided to run away from us. What's new? LOL! Had a stupid fire drill today which lasted for only 2 mins -.-" and I was queuing with Din and Yazid. This really made my face go o.o" :o

Zid : Eh, first time I see you everyday in school sia.

Me : o.o" I'm coming to school everyday what. Blind is it?

Zid : Really meh? Din, she come school everyday?

Me : YAAAA!

Din : Dont know. Eh, you spam my facebook! Kurang ajar.

Me : Heees. you guys NEVER COME SCHOOL ALWAYS LAH! NOT ME!

Went for CCA and slacked, homed.

Miss my hoes much. Maybe its gonna be a friendship-based text from now on. Busy with life and stuff )': I'm slowly changing my life to a better one. I'm starting to care more about my future than boyfriend.

2011-05-22T14:31:00.002+08:00

Pretty right? HAHAHAH! Nah, I don't feel pretty at all on that day. No, this post isn't about me.

Dear you,

Even how many times I tried to think positive. All the negativity comes to me. Even how many times I tried to put you out of my mind, you stayed glued on it. From the start, I didn't knew that I could fall for you this hard. I didn't think you were the one. I was just going around and having fun. You! You taught me on how to stay committed to one. Sadly to say, I don't know what has become of us.

I know I've broken many of your trust. Promises after promises, I failed to hold. Trust destroyed. I tried to amend; you wouldn't let me. For the past few days, it wasn't an easy journey hunny. I need you to be there like how I used to be there for you every single time. Needless to say, you just have to cut me even deeper. I know you're angry at me for a whole lot of reason yet you told me you aren't. The way you talked to me. Our position now, what are we?

You are sick. I tried to be there. You pushed me away, hard. You wouldn't answer me and just decided to ignore me. Do you know how sad I am? Ugh. You know I would love to go there and be with you but the fact that we have our own personal life is just hard.

Many out there might be thinking I'm crazy. No love could be felt without meeting each other. Look, during your cycle of life, you meet new people. They taught you things which you are scared to believe. Once in a while, you would like to try something new. Questions after questions blew my mind. I hate to say this but stop asking me "what if? how do you know?" . It's frustrating enough to deal with this long distance and yet you guys are like gonna shoot a bullet at me any moment. I know your intentions are good but can guys don't bring me down for once? )':

2011-05-19T21:57:00.002+08:00

I'm having my mixed episodes right now. More of Cyclothymia I think. Should I go to the doctor and check myself whether I'm having this bipolar thingy? Seriously, I can't stand myself. I used to love looking at myself in the mirror, no matter what size I am. Now, I'm just disgusted at myself. I'd cry judging at how ugly looking I am.

I've started starving myself again. Not caring about the world. Not caring at how people think of me. I could get angry anytime. In fact, I've been angry/pissed since this week. I'd coped up in my room, not talk about things I used to talk about, mostly I'm silent. Don't be surprise if I suddenly burst out in tears. I don't know what got into me.

You know those days where you just don't wanna talk to anyone. You just wanna lock yourself in an empty room. Mind filled with enactment of your life. You just wanna shout as loud as you can. Searching for tranquility. Resulting in crying, hoping it soothes everything but instead, things got worsen. Friends/Family started blowing your mind with questions you dont wanna answer. Running away from everything. Voices filled your head. Thinking of unreasonable suicide.

I understand how people change in a very short period of time. The society around them makes them so. Yes, we all try very hard to stay the same but it feels like the red sea and the green sea can't get together eventhough they collide. Eventually, our old selves die. Some did not expect it to die; some did. The reason we give up most of the time is because of we held on too long and nothing happens. Individuals have their own expectations so we can't blame them on putting high hopes isn't it?

I don't know how to end this but I might result in cutting myself again. Sorry friends/family whom I've promised not to do it again. Such addictive and relentless actions are hard to give it up. I know I'm such a loser, you guys don't have to remind me. Stop filling my mind with depressing advices. Really, just stop.

2011-05-17T17:35:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAHA! Just a stupid random post. I was supposed to be out with Yan Lin , Cassandra , Kimberly , Hui Yi , Justin , Joon Kit and Yu Kiat but too bad , I just wanna stay home and mom won't let me out.

Yesterday was a good time spending time with 3 of my hoes. Mai came to my school and decided to meet her. Went to Popeyes for lunch/dinner , met Pearlyn and her friend, Belinda. Slack till Anu came. Bus-ed to Ikea. I don't know whats got into me and I started talking crap.

The lady beside Mai was shaking her head all the way. Put out bags in the locker and walked around IKEA. Reminisce the times of our DNT O level. It didn't change much. I seriously want a queen size bed pretty pretty please! Had snacks and homed. Well, not really. Me and Anu slacked to whine about how dreadful school is and how our surroundings are -.-" tilll 11 then homed. SKYPED with HERR :D :D :D Hahah, the other hoe is asleep.

Here starts the crap. Read further if you wish to. Don't complain.

Yea Yea, TODAY MORNING! I WAS THINKING OF WAKING UP AT 8 TO CHAT WITH BOYF BUT INSTEAD, WOKE UP AT 10. HAHAHAHA! Cause yesterday I told him that I'll be waking up at 8 to chat with him. Guess he waited. hawhawhaw, i feel so bad. So early in the morning I was pissed. Technical problems and mom nagging all the way. I told him and he saw how angry I was. BAM! Kiss sound was heard. Mom was right behind me. My face went FUCCCCKKKK all the way. Hahahahah!

webby webby. I don't really like him wearing this shirt. I like him wearing the other polo tee. I dont know why but he was being extra super sweet today. Usually when I just woke up and straight away webby with him, he'd say nothing but today he said " You are beautiful, take a look at yourself" with a wide angelic smile on his face. I went HAHAHAHAHAHAAH! all the way and biting my lips at the same time. I know I'm bad but whatever. LOL! There are a few others but I can't put it here. HEHEHEHEHE, shy. Okay bye. Im updating cause I don't want my blog to rust. Anyway, I might be going on a trip there for a while. Meet him, relax my mind and come back to deal with shits again. LOL! okay bye for the 2nd time.

2011-05-15T18:10:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY DUDDDDDEEEEEE!

Lol. 20 already!! The first time I met him was when he's 17-18 like that. 2 years already! FUHH! With my roudy and "always make trouble" attitude, can't believe we've stayed friends for 2 years. Nah, bestfriends now and share the same favourite colour -.-" . LOLOL! Hey, even if I'm fearless towards him in some cases. I still do take care of him if he's sick or whatever. Just that most of the times, i picked up a fight. LOLOL! Anyway, hope you have a blast celebrating your birthday.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .. I went for my shopping spree. WOOHOO! I feel so good okay. Yea, went shopping alone before meeting ahcap cause they went to Grandlink which I don't really like. Lol, before that he called me when I was sleeping and got to know they're pissed at me. WHOOOOO CAREESSS??? I'm not the early bird person okay.

Went to Orchard and got kinda lost. Bought for Ahcap his present. Hopefully that shirt suits him. HEEEEEEEEEE (: Its a very nice shirt from Uniqlo. SHOPSHOPSHOP TILL I DROP. I SERIOUSLY NEARLY DROP ! but before that I made a pit stop at Guess shop. Which shirt should I buy? They have pink too! I was in total dilemma. Bought guess wedge slipper (:

And my only meal for yesterday!! oh, i didn't finish my breakfast. BK is my lunch. DAMN! I was seriously hungry that I nearly collapse. HEE!

After lunch, headed down to bugis to meet Ahcap , Ko Jack , Hairi&his girl , Azri&his girl. Accompany them to eat. Went to El-Sheik for Sheesha. I haven't even got to feel the chair, I have to pick Daniel up at MacD Bugis Junction. Accompany him eat and back to the same place. HAHAHAH! andand the best part is, I called more people. LOLOL! Kak Iz , Hairil , Naseer , Ma'naf , Azizah , Farhan and Ilya came. Awesome . Only 2 people among them that Ahcap know. Smoked , laughed Camwhored. YAYAYAYAYAYAY! Azri bought for me candy (: HAHAH! I was seriously cute yesterday. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Flattering myself. Bleah.

Went off from El-Sheikh at 2:45am and cabbed to Tamp. Just me, Ahcap, Ko Jack, Hairi and Azri. But Hairi and Azri went off 30 mins later. Jack was giving me that "he-needs-a-big-fat-slap" face all night! I was kinda pissed at him. SERIOUSLY! but still, when Ahcap went to buy some things at 7-eleven, he was whining and asking me about girls. Homed at 6:45. After Jack went off, me and Ahcap was like fooling ourselves all the way okay. LOL! Whichever cab that doesn't stop at my area all got cussed. By him! and sometimes me. HEHEHEH! I realise whenever it's his birthday, we'll just hang out till next morning.

Woke up at 3pm. AISEHHHHH! Lazy to switch on lappy to talk to boyf. HAHAHAHA, sorry love. I know you love me okay. muaaahhhh :* What he love most was my Asian eyes. HAHAHAHAHAH! Can't wait to meet him.

Most of you guys might agree with this.

2011-05-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

Well, apparently. Some people are smart enough to type their name in Google and found my blog. *Claps hand* Intelligent beyond boredomness :D Nah, they're just my classmates. JBD oiii! LOL, remembered the cheers.

Monday, for the first time in ITE life.. I have a seat! Hell yea! Both 27 and 31. Had the freaking Ambassador interview and doubt that I can get in. I was super nervous and I know myself I sounded so boring. They just like my slides ._._|_ I can say that school is getting really pretty boring. Met Anuuuuu after school. Oh, that bitch just nearly kicked a packet food which is still edible. Lucky enough the aunty say "Nevermind". Bought her Mom things and off for some chit chatty at library cafe. Been months since I've been there. Thanks for the treat like always ; My bank account is Your bank account. LOL! That is the Hoes money. ^^ homed.

Didn't go to school today due to me being sick! I shall say very much thanks to those who are sick and sat beside me. My middle finger really goes to you. Fuck it. Anyway, everything gets better when I saw my boyf online! ^^ AWWW! LOL! He don't want me to get worried and sad, so he tried so hard to explain to me. My brother is being such a bitch to hide his computer. UGH! I can't see him ): Oh oh, I told him I'm sick and this is what he said :

HAHAHAAHAH! I was laughing my ass off when he said that. Am I that bad? LOL! But he's being so sweet. Lol!

Went to Polyclinic and the queue is not that long but the consultation! I dont know what the patients are doing inside there. I went in there less than 5 mins. Oh yea, there's this one particular incident which made me laugh. So a hokkien old couple approached me and talked in Hokkien. I was so stunned and tried to look out for helpers. I kept saying HUH? Lucky this guy knows my eye signal and came to my rescue. After that, he laughed at me. The FUCK? Homed, rest, chilled.

3 person in my class is being so concerned. LOL! They text/called me early in the morning. OMG! I swear I can't sleep properly. But its good, at least they cared (: Also thanks to Anu for accompanying each other. Plus Pearlyn for asking me whether I am LOVESICK or SEXSICK? LOL!

2011-05-06T23:14:00.004+08:00

OH YEA! Wondering why have I been typing in poem forms? Cause I totally have nothing interesting to write about my life. Isn't it boring if I always type what I'm doing in school. It's like I'm giving a free stalking for others.

But today, I really had so much fun. Well, not as fun as Secondary School. So there's only 1 lesson which lasted for like 4.5 hours. Practical was okayy. Told Yan Lin to practice cause she was the only blur squid who doesn't even bother to give it a try. I was trying to help. After completing it all, Me and Mala wanted to learn some Chinese. HAHAHA! Mala kept on saying the wrong thing. In stead of saying "I want to go to the toilet", she said "I want to vegetable crawling". Every sentence she says must have the word vegetable in it.

After school, went to Popeyes for lunch cause we're all fucking hungry. I told Prabhmeet something about my boyfriend changing in front of the webcam and she drooled and melted. LOL! I was like "Why are you drooling over my boyfriend?" and she goes like "Your boyfriend. I can imagine those muscles.. yadayada." Very dramatic you know. LOL! ate and back to school for Student Ambassador. I know right, wtf? A girl like me got nominated to do this shit. Just 2 years and all would be gone. Homed.

I have been feeling very tired lately. Usually, I could stay up till 2am during weekdays. Now I can't. It's so fucking strange and I'm pissed at myself for this. I can't complete an assignment cause I think too much about sleeping. Oh well, life is life. OHHHH! I guess my phone is too attractive eh cause Aisha and Prabhmeet says "Idky but its always your phone that caught my eyes. When other people texting, idc but when it comes to yours, its so eye-catching" hmm!

2011-05-05T22:21:00.005+08:00

No matter how long I waited. No matter where I go.
Things will just be the same.
Seems like we're going nowhere.

Let's be a trend setter.
Long Distance relationship.
It isn't as bad.
No disputes, no sex.
Just love.
We'll all be pure, a virgin (:

I know it's hard.
Distance is not an obstacle.
It is a beautiful reminder of how strong true love can be.
Endurance is everything.
Hopefully, one day we'll meet.

2011-05-03T19:52:00.002+08:00

The sun is up. Time for a grace start.
We'll hold hands, hug, kiss. Do whatever you wanna do.
Live it up quick cause there'll be no further chance.

Every moment is precious.
Due to some disastrous.
Things happened, people changed.
In a matter period of time, everything will be tamed.

I LOVE WHAT WE ARE NOW. Not too much, not too little.

2011-05-01T10:54:00.004+08:00

"He's not perfect. You aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn't going to quite poetry, he's not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don't hurt him, don't change him and don't expect more than he can give. Don't analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad and miss him when he's not there. Love hard when there is love to be had because perfect guys don't exist but there's always one guy that is perfect for you." -Bob Marley.

Constantly, I remind myself this. I may be going around flirting with guys while I'm attach but at the end of the day, I still love that one guy and will always be. I may sound like a play girl sometimes and most of you hate me for that. If my flirting actions results to breaking up, let me tell you. It's not like 100% he will be committed to me. It's total bullshit if he didn't flirt or be turned on by other girls. So give me some space to breathe. I know jealousy will occur but really, to think back, aren't we all feeling the same. No point fighting over jealousy now.

God, I'm only 18 and being committed is like way too serious. Sometimes in life, we got to chill for a moment. Breathe in those fresh air and smile to make your own better day. I don't regret falling in love cause that's the choice of my heart. Even though that guy brought me down real hard, treated me as a side dish and stuff, I didn't even complain a wee bit cause I know this is part and parcel of life.

I play fair in life. You play me out, I'll play you out. I give more than I know I should cause I know there's people out there needs it more than I do. I forgive but never forgets since people looovee to bring up the past during fights. My anger takes control of me most of the time so when there's a sudden quietness, you better shut the fuck up before I walk away and won't talk to you for days OR slap your face.

ويترك لك الخيار ليس بلدي.
المحبة لك لا تأسف.
كنت كل ما أريد أن أكون مع.

2011-04-28T23:03:00.004+08:00

So you think there won't be fights between us. You think everything is good. What is this world to you? Even nature has its forest burned down, frozen with ice and yadaayadaa. What makes you think that we are good always? Have you ever though of what I feel inside? Oh! You want me to automatically tell you everything is it?

Today wasn't much of anything. Just that as usual, Yan Lin would shout across a whole row of girls just to call me out and sit with them. It's not that I don't wanna sit with them. I wanna listen in theory class. That's all (: Sorry Fat Hand! I'm still going lunch and home-ing with you right. Oh! and every Wednesday and Friday I'll be with you one whole day right? Chill babe!

Anyway, Practical have been havoc. Seriously, one by one was like "DIAANAAAAAAAAAAAA! WHERE ARE YOU?!?" I feel like smacking their faces. You guys were the ones listening in class while I'm not. I'm day dreaming yet you guys asked for assistant. Crazy! Oh, I accidentally made Mala eat the real spicy chilli. SORRY BABE! She was searching for cold water like in a scurry. Prabhmeet, Me and Dhiviyan were laughing our asses off. I was reminded not to take chilli anymore. Anyway the bitch debate with Prabhmeet was awesome. I won, BIATCCCHHH!

Din acts so weirdly. Not in any way but neutrally, he acts so weird. Whenever he talks to people, it seems like he talks to himself. Cause the humans that he spoke to eventually didn't entertain him and when I asked him "why are you acting so weird?" , he just went "no, I'm crazy. Love to laugh at myself and talk too". I just feel like saying, "no dude, you're mental. 1st day, you stalked me around. 4th, you looked at me like I'm owing you something and it continues. Now your mental health is degrading" Seriously?

School tomorrow. Oh god! Such a drag and really it is. School ends at 5:30 tomorrow. 2.5 hours break in the middle. DAMN! After that, I'm gonna head to cousin house to teach English. Determined to help him excel. It's just up to him. Off to sleep now, toodles.

2011-04-26T20:39:00.002+08:00

CAN I JUST SAY IM SUPER HAPPY NOW. not cause of boyf but CAUSE MY EX-CRUSH FOLLOW ME AND TALKED TO ME ON TWITTER. WOOHOOOOOO! fuck yea. hahahahahahha! *JUMPS AROUND MY ROOM AND SHOUTING YAY YAY AHHHHH*

k, I know I sound pathetic but I mean, who doesn't right? After so long of him going missing to idk where, he suddenly follow me. HAHAHA! I decided to reply him late cause I guess it can be dragged till tomorrow morning and make me smile like wootwoot. Only 2 of my ex-crush can make me smile like no other even though I have no more feelings for them k. ^^

So technically school have been aweeeeesome .... I could drag it like forever. Seriously! The escalator, the bus, the levels are making me tired of waiting and climbing. Like ZOMG, can you fix everything ? Nevertheless, my classmates have been enthusiastic in everything. Good thing but idky people have been laughing their ass off whenever they see my facial expression. Like really, why? Teha, Dhiviyan, Mala, Aisha really laugh their asses off.

Lecture wasn't boring today. I didn't concentrate nor daydream today. Idk what am I doing the whole of 3 hours. It's about current affairs which WHO THE HELL BOTHERS TO CARE? Break and Played PE. For the FIRST time in my life, I enjoy running. Really! Thanks to Az, Aisha and Iqah. I surrender after a few upper body training and 11 push ups. AND THAT MADE THEM LAUGH TOOO? WTH is wrong with you guys? During 2nd break, told Dhiviyan that I hate hugging people while sweating cause there's dirt and other stuff in the sweat.

Him: HAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH! WTH! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD PLEASE. OMG I NEARLY FALL. HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOUR EXPRESSION, MAKE ME LAUGH EVEN HARDER! AHAHAHAHAHAH!

Me: -.^ wth is wrong with everybody?

Like really? So today's class was released 3hr earlier than expected. hooooray! Slacked at Cafe 1 with Hid, Aishah, Aisha and Prabhmeet. Fuuh, the gossips going around in class was superb. Really! hahaha, had a hard time laughing. Me and Prabhmeet had a misunderstanding about the guys we are talking about. LOL! So all this while me and her were like talking about different person. Finally, we were surrounded by Indians thanks to Aisha so we decided to make a move (: Not being racist but awkward with too many of unknown people.

2011-04-24T21:50:00.004+08:00

I stayed up to talk to you.
Even when I have to get up early the next day.
Cause it might just be the only time you have for me.

I'm tired of you not giving a shit about me. You are just like "oh hey! hi, well kweqhfowbvkjbsbjkbaoisfbsekbfaehiofijklvcnaskbawioehansboiawheafojoisj ok whatever bye." Yes, we joke we laugh we made each other days but never once you asked anything about me. It's like you don't even want to get to know me deeper. All this while, it's about you. I miss the times before we were attached. All seem so damn fucking good. Now, wth?

All I feel now is the one-sided love. It's like I'm giving my all to you but you're not. My days are becoming sadder and colder as I lay in bed alone at night. The process of over thinking things and thoughts always seem to overpower my mind and keep me awake at night most of the time. I read our past conversations and I didn't even know we were attached on 28 March 2011. I may be a bad girlfriend cause I couldn't remember those stuff. Come on, I bet you can't remember too right. The time when you told me you love me, I screamed in euphoria. I mean, the feelings I had for you was exceptionally different from my past relationships. Things change gradually.

Well, today is your fight. Make sure you fight well hunny. When you say "fuck everyone" around you, you're just having a bad day. Hopefully this will be the last time you get into this kind of shit. Luckily your brother is working at the same workplace as you. Stop dealing with Mafias and guns. Dude, seriously. Here I am , feeling so scared for you, there you go having fun fighting. Well, boys are boys. Without any fights, they aren't boys/guys. Remember who you are dealing with. Just be careful.

My relationship now is hanging. We are standing on a thin line between Single and Attach. Hopefully, you'll make the conclusion to what I've said. I know I'm somehow in a wrong too. We'll go where the river takes us.

2011-04-23T12:15:00.003+08:00

That tattoo is way beyond awesome but too bad I can't have it. The urge of getting a tattoo is too extreme but whatever. It seems like not one of my friends wanna go Sun Tanning with me. LOL! It's cause they knew my skin level of sensitivity when it comes to dealing with Sun. I can easily get sunburn even just for a bit being under the sun. AWESOME isn't it? -.-"

So yesterday, met Nurrul Eyka Khairiah Mai for lunch. Met Mai first. She got caught in the ran. Pity her so I dash across the road with my umbrella. Ate KFC and talked about school. Nothing much for me to say about my school. Theirs is way awesome than mine. Sad life! People around us are studying, why? Exams nearing? Mai had to rush down to town so we all accompanied her with our slack clothes. TOWN? WEARING SO SLACK? yea, we did make a fool out of ourselves with umbrella.

Decided to hide at Lucky Plaza MacD. Nurrul told me she don't understand my text "SUNTANNING" . She thought Suntan is SANTAN which is coconut milk for malay and that is why we just ended up slacking -.-" Went back and had BK for dinner. Walked home and Mai decided to stay over at my crib cause Anu and Pearlyn decided to come and stay over too. HAHA! EVEN AWESOME! 24hrs with Mai (as usual) and a sudden stay over. LOLOL!

They say it's going to be like this in the future so I'm going to say the normal things I always annoy Anu ; "oh jesus/ mother mary/ holy shit" HAHAH!. A sudden stay over at a friends house just to spend time together. AWESOMEEE! HAHAHAHA! They watched Scream 4 and Mai&Anu decided to go to toilet together cause they're scared of that scream face human will attack their ass. Played Monopoly Deal with a strict rule -.-" I hate playing games by the rule. Pearlyn and Anu went home early. Slept awhile, chatted with cammed with love. Breakfast with Mai and I'm still lazing on my bed.

MALA IS NOOOTTT REPLYINNNGG MY MSGGGGG! Fuck her for that. Well, I kinda miss school. Can't wait for Monday.

DAMN, WHAT I'VE DONE TO HAVE YOU NEAR? WISH YOU WERE HERE.

2011-04-21T23:12:00.004+08:00

My busy days are over now. Currently listening to the first song that he dedicate for me. I really really really miss him so much okay. I can't believe we rarely chat now. I don't have any negative mindset right now. Just that, why doesn't he go online the usual timing?. What's up? I really do wanna know. The last time I webcam with him, his face was very gloomy yet he said nothing. Yea, I really wanna go on that vacation soon. I don't know what I should feel now. ):

For the past few days, life have really really been a hectic one. It was an eye opener days for me. I keep asking for god's guidance and for HIM to make my heart content. Believe in yourself and HIM, and HE will believe in you to give you HIS strength. In any way to help HIS people.

Everything has gone smoothly though I can't manage my own time. The classes I attended were exceptionally good. It helped me in many ways. I manage to skid through that small tunnel in a swift. YABEDABEDOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh yea, today met Anu. Really had so much laughter. Instead of saying ATM Machine, she said "where's the Cash Machine". I was literally laughing my ass off. Had lunch and played some awesome foolish Arcade games. She saw the cute guy and went blushing and creepy. Walked back home feeling tired but end up looking like a drunkered . Saw my uncle which looks like APEK. HAHAHHA! Slacked at her house. Had some ~~GOOD SEX~~! more of being raped. LOL! I've got a long horny dick man. HAHAHHA! ate ice-cream after sex is like soo cooool! and after that, we spoke 3 different languages. AWESOME! Had subway for dinner thanks to her mom. Homed. Gonna hook up with her soon enough (; HAHAHAHAH! The way she touched me was obnoxious! HAHAHAHAHA! But I likeee (;

2011-04-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

I will be super busy for the next few days. I don't have time for school, Family , Friends and lastly+most importantly MYSELF. Wonder why I have no time for school? Heees, I took the wrong decision so I have to amend everything. Just for this week.

Anyway, school has been really fun for me. Thanks to Mala and Yan Lin (ofc there's more). They made me laugh till I have no chance to breathe. Its really hard for me to concentrate on both Chemistry subject I'm currently studying. Which class has no gossips? For my class, hot gossip currently is Eliz. HAHAHA! Okay whatever.

I just got to know on Monday that most of my class girls have boyfriends. ZOMG! HAHAHA! Cool or what? Its like our own personal life became exposed. Okay, whatever. Oh yea, slacked with Ahcap, Azri and Ko Jack last monday till 11 plus. Imagine me in uniform for more than 12hours? So uncomfortable. I'm sooo terribly cold on that day while they're so hot? WTF? Since Ahcap really wanna pay for the cab and I'm like half dead, why not? HAAHAH! Saw doris otw home. OOOOOOYEAHHHH! hahah.

I'm typing this in 150mph (thanks to Daniel_Laz) cause I'm still busy with my own stuff. I have yet to do anything. K bye. Will be back with proper updates.

2011-04-17T21:23:00.002+08:00

Pardon me for my all time moody post for the past few days. Can't help it man, drowned with negativity. Anyone out there kind enough to help? Doubt so. Nah, advice if you want to.

So, I gave this boring face the whole day. Slept and ate a few times although I'm not tired or hungry. Sunday, as usual ,boring but I''m lazy to get my butt out of the house. Its so comfortable okay. Mom asked whether I'm still with him or not, she's confused with my status. Ofc, I didn't tell her everything but yeap, I'm still with him. She's like ;

"Oh, ofc laaa. He lives so far. It's hard to not be negative and you will get bored eventually. What if he lives nearer? It'll be even more boring cause you'll be seeing him everyday. Don't say no cause I know you. You'll find time to even see your boyfriend even if it is 12am"

I gave that flabbergasted look and turned away. She's been stalking me. ZOMG! That explains my frequent breakups. Nah, planning to really be committed (; And starting from there on, she's always looking at my face and asking ;

"Why are you giving that boring face? He's not online?"

"Come on la, smillllee."

I swear it is irritating to the point where I turned on the volume of the TV louder. DAMN! I wanna go to the beach alone and find tranquility. Maybe alone or with just a partner. I'm going maybe either Thursday after my BTT. Hope it's not raining. It's been awhile since I've been under a scorching hot sun. It's been awhile since I've been burnt. HAHAHAHA! Shouldn't be shitty about it. Anyway, school starts at 8:30 tomorrow. Just have to squeeze in that bus again. PHSK!

2011-04-16T23:18:00.004+08:00

I wasn't feeling alright at all. I feel so bad for pushing him away too many times but it's just that yea, maybe I just need time to love someone, to find no doubts. I mean I do love him but not that deeeeep. Just a feeling of a little bit more than a crush. Ok, I know I'm definitely more confused now. Confusing myself way too much. I read our past conversation and I smiled to myself. We have difficulty communicating but yet we understood each other. Strange isn't it? LOL! I am trying not to push you away. I swear, when I get myself right again, I'll pull you close enough that you can never leave me (:

Anyway, met up with Danial Erwin for 2 consecutive days to town.

Friday- after school, had lunch with Fazlyn, Iqah, Valarie and Munirah. Mala, Prabhmeet and Aisha decided not to have lunch. PIGS! humpff. Sat at starbucks to complete my music theory while waiting for Danial. Shopped for his Lappy sleeve at tamp. Met Anu , LIKE FINAAALLLLYYYYY I MISS HERRRRR OKAY, and sat at Dhoby Ghaut Starbucks. It was completely hilarious. Off to Sim Lim (which we decided to walk from City Hall to Sim Lim,bugis, instead of being caught in a congested Cabin) to shop for his sleeve again. LIKE FINALLY AFTER A LONG SEARCH HE BOUGHT ONE. Met Umairah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! my all time fart in crime partner. HAHAHAH! From Habourfront, trained home. Chatted with boyf and sleeeeeeepppp.

Saturday- Met Danial at SK SMRT. trained to Orchard and went around looking for bags. I wanted to buy my school stuff today. Finally got my bag at Heren, Fourskin. THE GUY AT THE CASHIER WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE AND HANDSOME! I LIKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEE! Hahahah. I wanna work there okay! HAHAHAH! cet. Danial roll his eyes most of the time cause I kept on talking about cute guys and stuff. LOL! He's spotting gay guys everywhere. Walked to Dhoby Ghaut and bumped into Farhan&his date, Umar&huda. Its weird cause I dont really know them yet I said hi. WTF? HAHAHA! There's even a little conversation going on there. Trained back to CP and Pizza Hut for dinner. Jalan Kayu for supper and homed. Boyf thinks I'm crazy cause he dont understand what I'm saying. WTF? You're the one who is crazy hunny.

I swear I'm tired. So tired, I could fall asleep on the floor.

2011-04-14T18:36:00.002+08:00

I dont know what is wrong with me? Maybe I'm both physically and mentally tired. He tried talking to me while I kinda ignored him. I know it's bad but I just don't feel like talking to him at all. He gave me a nice and sweet approach but its somehow irritating. I kinda pushed him away to the extend that he pushed me all the way through. )': but he managed to pull me in (: I love houses near the beach. Damn, he's such a bitch! I will go there some day. Having a cheeky plus tired day with him.

It seems like none of my cousins are going to Australia in September so I decided to ask him along. All those empty barrels talking are annoying the fuck out of me. Really! Why are you guys breathing? Well, at least Im getting out of the country. With love (:

Since I'm always waking up earlier than I should, I would go online and coincidentally, he was online. Morning Webcam with love was great. Made my day and I made friends with an old lady while I was on the way to school. AWESOME!! Theory lesson was super boring but Prac lesson was laughing all the way with Yan Lin about Eliz. Seriously, she needs to get her fashion right. Homed alone today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU AND HAVE A GOOD LIFE AHEAD.

2011-04-12T20:22:00.002+08:00

I read some of my friends blog and AWWWW! I find it super sweet about what Khairiah wrote about me. HAHAHA! Let me show you what she wrote.

"Siti Farhanah~I've know her for 5 years and my first introduction to her was really epic.We still remember till now.I like to touch her stomach alot when im bored.Hahahahs.She's my best victim to disturb or imitate right.Eventhough i rarely have a serious talk to her but i know she's a very good friend.She will know how to make a friend smile.Among us 5,she's like a big sister,for example 'dont do this and that with ur hand,its not good'hahahhah.She's the moodmaker in the group.But beware when she's mad,she a very scary girl.nyehahahah <3 "

HAHAHHA! With ofc my picture with her. Yes, my first impression of you was totally epic. I mean, wth right? No one has ever done that to me. Well, ya. I'm the type of person who loves to crap a lot. Don't believe? Ask Daniel Sydney Lazaroo. HAHAH! See, this is why I wonder. Why am I very scary when I'm mad? A lot of people have been saying that. Why makes you think so?

Anyway, this is for you then Khairiah ;

Hey girl, yeap. We've known each other for like 5 years and being bestf for 4 years and still continuing . You're like the "small kid" in our clique with the most fiercest stare ever. Hahah! Anyway, I rarely have serious talk with anyone cause I crap most of the time. I remember our moments at the Airport. For us, Airport is our laughing and having fun too much place. Excuse me, when you're mad, it's even worse ok. We'll all turn around and not want to look at your face. Like Hungry Lion oiiiiiiiiiiiii. Dont wanna be your victim. Love much (:

Ok, done there. Now, I'll talk about my second day of sch. It was okay. I'm known there for "Dynamite Diana". AWESOMELY COOL OR WHAT! They're like coming to me and ask "Are you the one with Dynamite D?". I'll go, "YEAAAAAA!" so, made a few friends. Teha, Mala, Hui Xia, Fazlyn, Aisha, Prabh Meet, Aishah, Valarie, Eliz, Khairiah, Atiqah, Munirah, Zaza, Dhevian. That is just all for the time being. They're funny bunch of people but comparing to my Sec Sch cliques, my Sec Sch cliques are more such awesome (: We exchange numbers.

Hmmm, how I wish he is home right now. Is he eager to get home to chat with me? Really, I miss him so fucking much. Whenever I reply text on my phone, I'd stare at his face for a few minutes and then I'll reply. Aisha saw what I did and she teased me. How embarrassing? Whatever it is, I hope you're gonna be home tomorrow to get online and webcam.

2011-04-11T21:18:00.003+08:00

I seriously dont understand why people have been questioning my trust towards him. Is it that bad? I mean, I know he is from those countries where they get the blame for killing most people and being bad most of the time but not all of them are like that. Really! Sometimes, you guys are very contradicting. I have a hard time now understanding!

Yes I haven't met him in Real Life. HOW TO? He's in Morocco while I'm in SINGAPORE! You guys wanna pay for our trip fare is it? I really don't mind hunny. Come on, we're sorting out the dates to meet or rather, have a vacation together. Look, IDC if he is going to murder me when we meet. I've treasured my life enough and death is in HIS hands. I'm a Muslim, so when I say "HIS"/"HIM" , I mean Allah.

Oh, one more thing. Just shut the fuck up if you guys are going to ask me anything about trust towards him. I mean, Give me 2 possible good fucking reasons to why I shouldn't trust him. Maybe from there, I could consider. FUCK it guys. Really! I'm not siding him or being over protective but I just couldn't understand.

Dont wanna talk about the first day of school. Such a bitch! Dont think you guys are Sophomores , the Freshmen are scared ok. PUHLEASE! Take a look at yourself before going against others, are you that good? I doubt so. So just put aside that attitude and lead a normal and friendly life.

2011-04-09T22:42:00.004+08:00

The doubts still lingers in my mind. I know I sound so possessive right now. Come on, he's as possessive and demanding as me okay! LOOK below!

Yeap, so who's winning about the possessive and demanding term right now? HIM! Where are you actually going? Marrakech/Agadir or England? SEE! That's why you deserve my middle finger some times. But sooooo for the next 3 days, I WONT BE ABLE TO SEE HIM ): First, Belgium and now those? This guy really needs to be tied at home. LUL!

Anyway, wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS TO HAZILA HANIFFA FOR HER SUCCESSFUL ENGAGEMENT CEREMONY. Had fun with cousins but yet again, he's on my mind. WTF? Get out will you? Webcam with him in the morning and before he went off, I get to look at his face (: awwww, LOL.

He's being extra sweet today. Giving more than he should. Being cute by telling me his childhood and stuff. LOLOLOL! I like him extra today. But what is with every one that I chatted with today? They wanna kiss me and lick my neck? WTF? You guys all feeling horny on the same day? AWKWARD!!

Chatted with Paul and he called me a Lesbian after I said I dislike "Hard Cock". Is that even possible? So I told him I'm a Bisex since I also like kissing girl and having crush on them but thinking of dating, never. Yeap, now he labelled me as BISEX. Nevertheless, told him everything that happened and he asked me "So you believed him?" . SEEEE, that is one question that I dont wanna hear. sigh!

Oh, wanna hear great news now? ENRIQUE JUST TOLD ME THAT MY BOYF WANTS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM! double triple infinity times, I am dead. Seriously! I thought my boyf added me through him. GOSH! That is why my boyf told me he's watching me. I pity Enrique. Sorry huns, tell me whatever he talks to you ok. Confide in me if you want to, I really do feel guilty.

2011-04-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

I may seem to be the girl that toys around with other guys. I don't call that toying, I call that being extra friendly cause guys love "special" attention. I learn that from observation and you guys can't blame us for giving you false hope. Like I said on my FB status, the one who falls for the other party first, LOOSE! Unless you really wanna be committed, go ahead with each other.

Okay, so here is my situation. As you all know that I'm in a Long Distance R/S. Now, we oftenly communicate with each. Wait for each other to go online and ofc webcam. For a long distance r/s, I know we need to have trust, faith and perseverance in order for it to work. Put aside those jealousy&doubts so that everything would be fine. For me, it is my first time and it is definitely hard hunny. Real hard!

He already owns for at least 10-15% of my heart and I dare say I would want to be committed towards him if god's willing. I love the way he captures my attention in just a snap, steals my time and jelly me in no other way any other guy has ever done. Somehow, doubts are slowly growing in me. Does he really love me like how he said he is? Who is he with on the phone? Can I get to know all of his friends/family? Is he lying to me? Huge waves of questions wiped my mind in an instant and I feel like giving up and crying. I know it is stupid but I can't help it.

This is what happens and what I have to do now. He is sick currently and he does what I told him to do. Positively cause he did it while on cam. I MUST not think negatively about him cause he is working at night and since his workplace are full of sluts and bitches, I guess I have to understand. Furthermore, he puts on a serious grumpy face whenever he's at work. Bouncer dude. He showed me a video pertaining him so I'm cool. He has nothing to worry about in his life. He have the money which ofc every girl likes but I'm not that into it now. There is alot more I should do to prevent me from getting jealous and having doubts easily. It's common, I know.

Well, he always like to get my attention by nudging me and doing that serious face and gestures to make me scared. Then, he'll laugh after looking at every scared face I made. Steals my time, everytime. I think of him and he's stuck in my head for like 23:59/7 a day! Jelly me? Well, for you guys to figure it out. See the difference? How am I not confuse with my own feelings? Hais, maybe I really shouldn't have think too much. Just chill and go with the flow.

To be honest, he have seen my worst and my best look. Haha, what more? He's gonna see everything !! :$ :$ :$ Whatever it is, I still love you hunny.

2011-04-06T16:29:00.005+08:00

We can get Uglier than that. HAH!

Yesterday was totally awesomeee! Not just saying but if the HOES could stay overnight for just one more day, it'll be totally absolutely extremeeeeely great. We did not take any photos cause we're focusing on how much fun we all are having. If you guys realise, me and my HOES does not frequently take photos cause of the Fun things we are doing, not because of the way we look. I mean, I dont even care the way I look now. Just be wild and lazy :> HAHA!

So yesterday, met Mai at 2 to collect my O level Cert and she has to return back the Portfolio. Dumb that we had to run halfway round the school just to avoid the Vice Principal cause we're wearing slippers -.-" Bused to NYP and trained to TP. DAMN! another leg sore. Around 7 plus, headed down to Anu's house for more FUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN! and FOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD! nyaahahahha.

Nah! Actually, I joined their fun at 1 plus in the morning cause I was too busy staring at my Boyfriend's face. He's back! Too handsome for me till I blush most of the times and they were disturbing me. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :| But one thing is for sure, he has lost some trust in me cause he doesn't really like me talking with other guys. I mean I can but to a certain extend. He found out what I've been talking to other guys (which idk how! Some creepers must have been telling him or he checks my status everyday -.-). SO! He said he'll be watching me (idk how he's doing it). OH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! He showed me some of his weapons that he brought to work. ZOMGZOMGZOMG! very dangerous. hmm!

All of us decided to play twister right after I left the conversation. SUPEEEEEERRRRRRR DUPEEEEEEERRRRRRRR FUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN! Farts are heard, laughter , cries of pain. GOSH! Totally epic. Mai had her vomitting session, Me Pearlyn and Cheryl had our smoking hot session and Anu? HAHA! Cockroach session which everyone came to help her except me. Im afraid of bugs man. No way getting near it. Ard 6 plus, everyone went dead.

Woke up ard 11-12, no! I woke up at 10 and found them still snoring. Then I snored again. Played some games while eating lunch and homed. OMG OMG OMG, MY LEGS&MY KNEES! its so painful that I think I could take 2-4 days of rest. Really, its so sore that I think my legs are better off to be amputate. To think again, nah. I'd rather get my legs sore. Much better (:

I'm really gonna miss hanging out with my friends. School is starting soon and the possibility of us meeting and having fun with each other is like 1/3. Hope it is not. Daniel has been acting sooo weird. Morning text msg is just so weird given by a friend. Haha, I'm cool with it cause as long as it makes me smile.

MY CLOSED AND LOVED ONES MAKES ME SMILE WIDER EVERY DAY.

2011-04-04T22:22:00.004+08:00

I've been feeling Happy+Sad for the past few days okay. He hasn't been back from Belgium! Super Doubly Triple Sad and more than that. Idk what to think of anymooooooore.

DEAL WITH IT ):

So yesterday I was super damn bored. Mom told me to follow them out for Electronics sales at EXPO and since I'm gonna get my birthday present from Kak Iz. (Kak Iz, Kak Ati and Kak Shilla shared money to buy me a COACH WRISTLET! awww xoxo). Walked around and bought myself a earpiece. Met Daniel [LIKE FINALLLYYYY] at Pasir Ris since he's broke and walked to Pasir Ris Beach pit 10. Was awesome (; Sat, talked and laughed like there's definitely no tomorrow. Lyn (Daniel's bestfriend and Kak Iz Bisex partner) saw us and decided to join along with her guy friend. Walked off from the beach at 12am. DEFINITELY he's asking for trouble, walking in the dark. It was an awesome catch up. Totally. If I post everything we did, it'll be a lengthy post.

Today, went out with the "-isms" (We're not called the DODOLS already cause something happened and come on, we lead a new life already) which consist of Me, Mai, Nurul, Eyka, Khairiah. Met them at CP as usual but the weird thing is Dan(Eyka's Boyfriend) followed us w/o her.. SOOOOOOO WEIRRD but who cares. We're comfortable with him. Bused to Temasek Poly, Trained to Nanyang Poly and met Eyka since she finished her class and Trained to town. I feel like we're going everywhere in Singapore. SOOO TIRED! Haha, Idk who pulled my hair and Dan pushed me with his heavy bag. WAAAA, FUN AH? And after our Lunch/Dinner, my mood was changed totally. Idk for what reason but believe me, I feel like kicking those butts infront of me. Ofc not my friends! Anas have been texting me the whole way which I find it damn irritating! OH YEA! DANIEL GAVE ME AN IRRITATING MORNING TEXT! but funny, HAHAHAHAHAHH! && when the "-isms" bought ice-cream, I'm like a kid who keeps quiet after demanding for things that I can't get. HAHA Me so CUTE! k nuff said.

IT'S SOOOO IRRITATING WHEN I KNOW 3 PEOPLE WITH THE SAME NAME AND ITS SO HARD FOR YOU GUYS TO DIFFERENTIATE WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THEM -.-"

**** THIS SHIT, AM GOING TO BED.

2011-04-02T21:48:00.003+08:00

Well, I have a private blog which I could write as much as I want. So if there is any day that I didn't post anything, let's just say .. It is either I post on my few private blogs OR I just didn't post at all hunny (:

So, my phone is repaired now. Planning on NOT to drop my phone and getting a data plan? idk! Getting that is by USING MY MONEY! oh yea, I have yet to study for my upcoming test on 19,20&21. DAMN! Haha, oh and those following me on twitter @PopPoppyy , did you guys see how much money I have in the bank. HILARIOUS isn't it ? HAWHAW! HAHAHAH!

Okay, I realise it is a common thing for bloggers to talk to themselves . It's like they know they have someone to talk to but they just dont want to. Get it? hawhaw. LOL! So yesterday had dinner with Hoes. Duh, enjoyed it. Since when did I not ever enjoy my time with Hoes?

Oh yea, I've been going online early in the morning cause my boyfriend will be online around that timing too. Ard 9am-12pm and 9pm-12am. HEHEHE! and can you believe it? He will be going to Belgium, just to have lunch with his Family and going back home. SHUT UP! He could've just used that money to come here right? GAHHH! k done. Sleepover with HOES coming up and Jurong Swimming Complex with Girlfies too!

2011-03-31T16:27:00.003+08:00

I typed a 4 page composition just now but I decided to delete it. No use penning down about what's happening but nobody knows your story and they start to assume things. He didn't went home yesterday and straight away head to the beach. I was definitely okay with that cause I went missing from him for 2 days but it feels so weird and wrong. Bleah, its just a feeling. He'll be flying over soon :D *widest smile* But he will have to attain a Visa. Hunny, please do so fast ok (:

Anu have been skipping Wednesday lesson and came hiding in my room! HAHAHAH! Ofc I'm ok with it. At least I have company (: She did her project yesterday. Nice slides she have. Didn't know she have talents to do that. Its simple yet the complexity is rated 8/10 HAHAH! understand? Will ask her to do my project eh next time ^^ Have been calling my mom a "liar" for the past few days. In a joking way and she call me a liar too. HAHA!

So, THIS GUY (Daniel) have been disturbing me for the past few days! I'm so pissed plus ofc everything is so funny. Mixed emotions, hahaha! And since he likes to disturb me like 24/7, I'll force him to smell my SWEET SMELLING UNDERARMS when we meet this week! MAKE SURE! He spots every mistakes I type cause I did it to him the other day. HAHA!

This is what I MEAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!

And since I'm always like fickle minded, he's kinda mad. Hahaha, this is what happens when you guys are friends with me. You won't understand me fully. He even said I was looney (in a positive language).

2011-03-29T23:31:00.004+08:00

Amazing! HAD A TOTAL BLAST YESTERDAY. I mean, I guess we've not met in awhile eh.

So I had nothing really nice to wear and just wear a simple top and shorts. I smell super nice yesterday. HAHAHAHAH! I smelled my underarms for like idk how many times. Since I hardly sweat, my underarms are all clean. HAHA!

Went out and I was fucking pissed at first. All gone wrong and I told myself to not care about anything. STAY CALMMMMMMMMMMM! Bused to Airport with Mai, Khairiah , Nurul and ate Popeye. Had a few laughs about those blogs we usually read. Viewing hall next. Played a few games a saw a cute caucasian. HAHA! Me and Nurrul had a good view, I LIKE! HAHAH!

Oh yea, the whole way we were like disturbing Nurrul. SUPER FUNNY! I know we're bad but we just couldn't resist on disturbing her and calling her a Country-Side Girl. HAHAHA! We could just Roll on the Floor while laughing but we have to maintain. So, went to every terminal and see people. Part with them and met Kak Iz for her break. Homed with Ahcap. Talked with Paul and Boyfriend on skype for a few hours.

I don't know what should I do/feel. I notice I have a split personality. I could never control myself. Even if I could, it was only for awhile. And its kinda depressing you know. Depress on controlling yourself. One moment you're all good, the next moment you go all mad and looney. Is it in my genes or am I just going bonkers for sitting at home and do nothing for a month? Hah. Or I'm guessing I follow what my brain tells me to do cause I've had enough of following my heart. K, that picture up there describes everything. The king of the jungle and the timid little girl putting up a strong front. Though it's kinda depressing, I kinda love myself now. Hahaha, very contradicting eh. I know ):

2011-03-27T14:19:00.005+08:00

SOOOOOOOOOOOO, I GET THIS? WHY NOW ?!?!

It's always like this isn't it? Whenever you're attached and the guy that likes you suddenly say he likes you. Dilemma ! But this guy, i just treat him as my big brother.

and THIS! THIS IS WHAT I MOSTLY DEFINITELY DISLIKE. TO BE CLEARER, HATE!

but, ofc i have to be fair right!

HAHAH! This part I blur!

IM LIKE SUPER HAPPY THAT YOU KNOW.. WE CHAT! cause we've not been talking for the last 2 days. I'm super sad okay for the last 2 days. Like SADGIRL_93 :D okay.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ...........

I've been out with Family for the last 2 days. Friday, went out dinner with Mom and Dad at Giant Tampiness. Saturday, went to Johor.

HAHA! I swear I kind of like the trip there althought they took 3 successful hours to persuade me to follow them. Me and my mom were laughing the whole journey there. For what reason, idk! Random craps. My mom loves to talk to me when I'm crapping. My dad was like complaining to strangers that we're laughing too much. HAHAHA! COOL OR WHAT?

Sunday! Went out with Yuki and Jack for Shisha. It has been months since I last when for it. The Filipino waitress at Nasrin really pisses me off. GOSH! Chilled at Clarke Quay and homed.

2011-03-24T21:25:00.002+08:00

OKAY! I miss that guy terribly okay. I swear the whole day I was thinking of him. I know it's weird, just shut up. hahaha! Friends asked whether am I taking him seriously. The answer is I dont know. I mean we are just on the internet you know. We're living in different timezones. I don't feel the love you know and I've never taken it seriously. Unless I want too. Everyday, he would keep on saying he likes/loves me but gahhh, i dont know. Maybe it's just a crush okay.

So, i thought there will be tuition today but nooooooooooo. People just don't want to call and tell me they wanna cancel it. UGH! I woke up at 12 plus and receive a text from Nurrul. Since I'm super lazy to go out, I asked her to come over. Talked and predict things. Hahaha!

Hey, know what. I think I'm loving the individual lessons I got for Music. I can perfect everything by 3 weeks. So I guess I need individual attention eh. Hahaha! Not bad for me.

Anyway, currently what I know about this guy is. He have the money, looks and body BUT his work comes first. I just ended a chat with him and it's only 4 plus there. His work have yet to start ! GAHHH! You know, I feel like he don't really wanna get to know me better. It's all about him and his work and his everything. HIM HIM HIM!

haha, okay am done complaining. Anu says I have problems with boys. Guess most of my friends will agree eh. Hmm.. Anyway, I think I'm going to stick with him for awhile although we have difficulties communicating. HAHAHAH!

OHH! So now I'm always on skype and everyday a few different people from different countries talked to me and called. And I was like HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND ME? OMG ! Hahahha! So now I have a tactic. I would just say my boyfriend is sleeping beside me. FUHH! If only that is real man. If only ): Hahaha!

2011-03-23T19:06:00.004+08:00

So wondering who's the guy next to me? Yeap, he's my boyfriend. HAHAHAH! Long distance relationship. HAHAHAHA! I know it wont work but like I say to my other friends, I would like to try it out. Doesn't hurt right?

Hahaha,

K, don't bother about the Hannuy part okay. He's in a rush. Humpff! hahaha, che! Protective eh.

HAHAHAH! Makes me fly to the moon!

SOOOO! I was being a good sister today by sending my brother to school in a cab cause its raining. And again! I sat at home for 2 days straight. Hahah, ain't complaining but I feel so proud of myself. I don't feel bored at all. Seriously. Hahahah! I freaking love my life right now okay. Period! Bleah!

Oh anyway, I didn't eat right today. Just feel so heavy out of a sudden. HEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS! Anyway, can't wait for that boy to chat with me again. He's going out to a cafe and then to work. See how breeze his life is. Hahahah! Take me away from Singapore.

2011-03-22T17:46:00.005+08:00

SEEING IS DECEIVING ; DREAMING IS BELIEVING

2011-03-21T23:18:00.006+08:00

So today I went out with Nurrul, Khairiah, Eyka and Mai to celebrate Eyka's birthday. Overall, it's a good time spent with them. Oh yea, caught up with Hafiz for awhile since he was there for a brief moment of our waiting time. Maybe this Wednesday going out (:

Made our way to Pasir Ris beach which I thought it was going to rain BUT IT TURNED OUT TO BE SCORCHING HOT. Played a few games and we can't stand the humidity so changed place to MacCafe. It's fun playing Monopoly Deal for just 1 game during the duration of 1 hr plus. ITS A FREAKING LOOOONG GAME I TELL YOU! none wanna give in. hahahah! Gamble!

Headed down to Tampiness for Dinner at Seoul Garden but nah, turned to Texas Chicken. Ate like gluttons. HAHAHA! More like a pig. Went to Tamp 1 to take pictures. That point of time, my back feels soo itchy that I finally decided to scratch it. Guess what I found. SUNBURN! OMG! Super painful. and there goes Mai poking me all over.

back to SK to slack. The rain, super heavy! So this are some pictures of it.

She's soooo into that idk-what-to-say caucasian . HAHAHA!

ANNNNDDD THE FUNT TIMES BEGIN WITH NURRUL'S IPHONE. HAHAH!
Me & Mai really had nothing to do while waiting for the rest to finich their turns.

CLOSE UP ON OUR FACES. LOLOLOLOLOL

2011-03-20T22:41:00.003+08:00

People have been asking : How's my life?

Truth is, there is nothing much fun happening in my life. It's soooo boring that I could just lay in bed all day and smile to myself. Really!

I know people might ask ; what happened to my fun life? where are your friends? dont you have any friends to have fun with? Aren't you bored sitting at home the whole day everyday?

To be honest, I sometimes love isolating myself. It feels kind of good to sometimes think and have time for yourself you know. My friends are still here with me, just that they're busy with their stuff. Definitely , I'm not bored sitting at home. My mom is here to accompany me. Times spent with her is always awesome :D But she's sick now. So, she has no mood to crap with me (:

Saturday;
Nothing much happened. Went to Swissotel to celebrate Hairil, Shilla and My Birthday. Which it turned out to be narrowed to Hairil's birthday. The Hotel Accomodation were great. Had fun dancing with Kak Iz. Fun chilling and gossiping session with Shilla and Farhanah. HAHAH! Awesome. Cabbed to Changi Beach to join Ahcap&the rest for idk who's pit. SWAY! seriously.

My dad appeared just beside their pit. OMG! HAVE.TO.RUN.AWAY. After he played race, he came to accompany me for my "Runaway" activities. HAHAHA! Bapok Hunting. NICE! hahahahaah! Bashed some people and cabbed to SengKang. Had fun talking to one random taxi driver. HAHAHAHAH! Pearlyn came to slack with us till 5plus in the morning. Came up to my house, slacked awhile and they went home at 6 plus.

Sunday;
Woke up at 2pm and Kidd text that he went out of his house already. PANIC MODE ON! went to bathe and ate a wee bit. Met Kidd at CP's 7eleven. Talked and laughed the whole way till we reached Chua Chu Kang. DAMN, what pisses me off is that Sasha was still asleep. FUUHH! Blood boiling but Kidd hasn't eaten yet so we went to eat. Met her, talked and back to her house.
Played around with Adam and homed. Kidd is a good advice giver. I nearly miss my stop when he kept on talking. Homed.

That's all for these 2 days. I'm becoming a zombie. A lonely person. Hahaha, it's cause I choose to be. Look, i can't even understand myself. If my friends expect me to understand them fully, i have nothing to say. Cherios.

2011-03-18T20:12:00.004+08:00

Me and Anu went on a thrilling right yesterday. AWESOME, hahahah! That is ..

SHOPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!

Every girl's favourite. HAHAHHA! I like :D

So yesterday, We dress and killed everyone around us. Lol, nahhh. Just that Anu wore boots and its sooo awesome! I want! ALSO! There's attacks of children in the MRT. They could not stop talking but there is one cute eurasian guy between that herds of pigs. Anu thought I was a pedophile. Hahahha! Walked around town and had a blast. HAHAHHA! I swear. Bought shades cause I need to have a puff. Must go undercover. HAHAHAH! I legal already k, just that save image (; and we got interviewed o.o" very errrrrrrrrr!

HAD FISH&CO.

So I made up a "joke".

Me : Eh, you know know why it's called fish&co? Cause, when they cook fish.. they can't always serve fish. they must serve the others like prawns,lala,mussels and stuff. Co means "friends". HAHAHHA!

Anu: -.-" You're so full of shit.

Then, walked around and around just to find my things but I bought what I don't need at all. She's pissed off with me. Hahaha! I should be with her cause she went to the ladies for idk how many times. OHMAAAGAWWDD! and she have to stop disappearing in the shops. I had a hard time finding her laa k. Very frustrating.

After a pretty long day, our decision is to Starbucks at Handy Road but it seems so far. So TCC is our destination for dessert (: Cheh! Like a rich kid man on that day -.-" Big hole in my pocket. Spent around $300 about nothing. Hahahah. Nothing for myself :D

And I bought that for myself :D OMG! My wrislet that I want it for so loooong. I bet if I asked any of my dates to buy me this, they'll run away from mehhh! K nevermind. I'm happy with what I got. Bye.

Wait, want to know something. I was talking and talking non-stop, I got a slap from Anu. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So I was just quiet for like 5secs. HAHAHHAHA! :P

2011-03-15T17:35:00.010+08:00

I'VE BEEN STUCKED IN MY HOUSE FOR 3 FREAKING DAYS.

THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS

I FUCKING SURVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

awwwwwwwww, people have been feeling very depressed/emotional/sentimental/negative and stuff. Cheer up even when we don't have anything to be happy about. Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes, Courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying " I will try again tomorrow" . Success builds character, failure reveals it.

k, very cb eh. Every GIF I tried to upload can't be uploaded. Feel like trashing this thing. Hmm, so what have I been doing for the past 3 days? NOTHING AT ALL!

EAT - SLEEP - COMPUTER - EAT - SLEEP - COMPUTER - COMPUTER - EAT - EAT.

standard routine ah. k, super no mood now after listening to 1 sentimental song. I know very lame but gah, who cares. It just got into me.

2011-03-13T15:00:00.005+08:00

ONLY DECENT PHOTO TOGETHER.

Them turning me on at Zirca/Rebel but HAHA! not that day babes (:

LESBIAN ALERT! HAHAAHAH!

That isn't all the photos , I can't upload all cause most of it is indecent (: HAHA!

I SWEAR yesterday was a REALLY GOOD EYE-WASHING time for me. HAHAHA! I SWEAR. HAHAHA! So let the story begins.

He came down to fetch me and off we go to town. I was talking all the way and laughing on my own and he just sat there; stoned! He seems so quiet nowadays. Made our way to Grand Cathay and he wanted to withdraw money. There's this Big-sized couple in front of us and what he said REALLY MADE ME SHOCKED! Really, it doesn't even cross my mind.

"His body is big enough to shield his pin number. I just thought of peeping" OMG! O.O"

K, enough. Went to Secret Recipe and then met up with Farhan , Lela (I think) , Umar and Huda. Nis came later. So while sitting outside Cathay, I SAW A FEW CUTE/HANDSOME guys. HAHAHA! and I told him this "eh, if there's any handsome guys later, please let me sit beside them :>" He went all -.^?? pfffffftt.

So Red Riding Hood was soooo bleah -.-" Talked a wee bit with Lela and I end up laughing. OHH MAN! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME? HAHAHAHA! Made my way to Altitude with Yuki. WOWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOW! In the lift, there's 2 CUTIES and awwwww, *melting*
Most of the time, I was left alone. So, I spotted a few CUTIES. SOME NERDS, RED-HEADS, CAUCASIAN, ASIAN. gahhhhhhhhhhhh! HAHAHAHA! I LIKE! Yuki bought 2 shots of V.Lime and 2.5 shots of V.Cranberry. I wasn't allowed to drink the Cranberry cause I was tipsy already.

BLEAHHHHH! and there was one time, Yuki raised up her hand for quite some time and I knew something is wrong. So I looked up and tadaaaaaaaaaaaaa, my number. FOOOOHHHH! Blood boiling awhile. But who cares. HAHAH! ain't gonna entertain. Dad called and homed.

2011-03-10T20:32:00.002+08:00

Had fun yesterday. Surprising Yuki with Cookies and cream Ice-cream cake :> YAY to us (Jack , me , Hui Chen , Kak Iz and Hairil). I can't tell who bought it ofc. Birthday's man. Waited for Yuki was like waiting for rain to fall after a strong wind. Hui Chen time out was urber funny while I had a super hard time lighting up the cake. We need around 4 people to light up a cake. Super strong wind. Had fun laughing and too many weird incidents happen. My god! So Yuki and Kak Iz are trying to turn me on by grinding and doing some dance but I was too tired and in pain to be entertained. HAHAHAH! Sorry man.

So most of the time, I wasn't sure what's running through my mind. Every past problems suddenly came back to me and I actually thought of leaving. I decided not to :> Cheers to me for not following my heart/emotions. I LOVE ME ! HAHA!

oh yea, so in the morning I followed Mai to take her Portfolio and Mr Rahim still recognize uh but forgot our names. Haha~ And me and Mai's artifact was put on display. SOO nice :> HAHHAHA! Mine is the pink and green while her's is the umbrella shaped thing. Awesome right ? I know.

oh oh, we also had free Mee Soto given by the aunty who sells nice Mee Soto. HOOOOOOORAY! BOOOYAH! The drink stall change -.-" BOOOHOOO! Slacked in front of econ as usual. ohh, miss secondary school times :> Sat there and gives nice comments. HAHAHAH!

2011-03-08T22:35:00.003+08:00

You know, i really literally positively have nothing awesome to blog about . Even the simplest thing that happened, it just seems so boring! You see; without Money , there is no Fun. Now, I find myself lifeless.

Everything is wrong with me today. I lost 3 followers on Tumblr cause seeeeeee! I told you I'm a boring person nowadays. I woke up from the most weirdest dream (tell you about it later) and the world is spinning like nobody's business. The floor is wobbly to me. I can't play any song perfectly. I don't know what to eat even though my mom cooked a variety of dishes. Hmm! Also , I find most people irritating. I feel like throwing my phone out of the window cause of these anonymous people.

I can't believe I got through today by staying at home and doing nothing! At least my mom accompanies me. Well, we both love our companies :>

About the dream, well.. I know this will sound so weird but I spoke to god. My god (Allah). Idky but it just happens all of a sudden. I wanna know what is going on but I can barely remember what HE said. and 2nd of all, I dreamed of ****** . He came to my house and used the computer without my permission. Then, he slept on my bed! After which he told me to sleep right next to him. OMG! What is happening?

I really wanna do that conversation with HIM again. I mean, everything seems serene you know. hmm.

2011-03-06T03:51:00.010+08:00

Horniest Giraffe EVER!

IDK which Zebra is the cause of it but I'm sure I'm gonna dislike black and white.

These two enjoy being a Security Guard there. HAHA! Stupid Rhino!

FUYOOHH! EYE BAG 10 ton ahh!

Me and Animals ; can never make it. PHOBIA!

Mai and Animals ; Always on the go. NO FEAR!

Well, these aren't all the pictures about the Zoo. Heheheh. The rest is on FaceBook ; "best" social network ever -.-" k, so sleepy now. bye!

2011-03-03T22:44:00.003+08:00

1 March 2011;
A day to the zoo. It wasn't pretty bad in fact, the weather was fucking perfect. Met Anu and Mai at our usual spot and bus-ed down to NYP for Mai's registration. It was hilarious when Me and Anu were super bored and we played around with the "energy-saving" escalator. HAHAHA! We nearly fell. Went to the zoo, walked around and see all different kinds of animals but unfortunately, most of the animals was sleeping. The fact that we wanted to go to the kids area was not a secured goal. LOL! By the time we reached there, it was closed. Well, we got lost okay and somehow it was the ESCAPED zebra fault. pfffft! Dinner with Pearlyn, Cheryl, Mai and Anu at Seoul Garden was perfect. Saw Keleev but he was unapproachable.

2 March 2011;
A super boring day. Decided to go out with Kak Iz to Haji Lane and ate at Wanna'B Cafe. It was a great place to chill cause of the cozy ambience. Hairil came with his tight neck. LOL! He totally looks retarded. So we played guitar with a missing string and laugh around as usual. Went to Swissotel to check our bookings and homed.

3 March 2011;
A day with my mom. LOL! it was really a great day. After sending my timesheet (which apparently a girl from tampiness *dont know which side* CC recognises me and I need extra secs to recognise her), went to Plaza Singapura then to OC for lunch. My mom, super cute! HAHAHAH! So all the way, she was talking about the history and I'm learning things from her. Went somewhere and homed. I went straight to sleep. SUPER SLEEPY! SUPER TIRED! HAAHAHAH! doing alot of walking. Kak Iz coming to my house now. HEHEHEH!

Tiring day isn't it. Hmm, so maybe I'll be going for swim tomorrow and Daniel hasn't been able to get over my "Imaginary Friend" thing. LOL! Miss the late nights spent with Hairil, KaK Iz (Nurul) and him and we'll go to random places just laugh our ass off.

2011-02-28T21:08:00.019+08:00

Happy 18th Birthday to me !!
:>

Not forgetting. Anupreia, Cheryl, Pei Yun , Kak Shilla (Yuki) , Ryan (Farhanah) , Arkidd , Nurrul Shafeeqah , Nur Khairiah , Izzat , Hairil (Kak Iz bf) , Kak Ati , Diyanah , Kak Alynn and My Family :>

Some of you text + put on my facebook. I was like " WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, so On uh you guys" LOL! Don't worry, I will check out your text/post sooner or later what. I actually switch to "All alert off" cause of the spam I knew it was coming. HAHAHAH! But the first person who really touched my heart was Anu. Really.. I literally cried. I was quite disappointed cause Anas and Khai did not wish me. Oh well, disappoints usually occur any time, any place. PFFFT!

So, FYI. I've been FIRED! hahahahahahha! ON MY BIRTHDAY? Who has ever been fired from their work on their birthday? ME! I was like laughing throughout the whole working time. Damn, gonna miss Amy, Yana, Grace, Doris, Gabriel, Chin Boon, Candy, Jasmine, Mui Keng and Yih Koon. Oh well, God told me to take a break. HAHAHHA!

I'm gonna have an awesome Holiday. Anyone wanna slack or something, call me but most of the time, my phone is on "ALL ALERTS OFF". Those who have BB will understand.

OMG, ANU AND PEIYUN CAME TO MY HOUSE AT 10 PLUS. JUST NICE, AFTER A BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION WITH MY FAMILY. GOSH! AWESOME. They're like "eh farhanah, come down laa." and I was like, "no, I'm not wearing bra or udnerwear! Come up laa" HAHAH! next thing I know, they're at my door. HUHUHUUHU! I really have awesome friends ! :P

Well, more coming up.. Toodles.

2011-02-24T20:04:00.003+08:00

When an old friend suddenly came running back to you just because they suddenly realize you're better with advice, shoulder to cry, listening ear and etc.. you'll feel like pulling the trigger on their head isn't it? Yea, I mean its good if they came running back to you with positiveness but before that, why the hell did you hurt me / accuse me of nothing I did? You brought me down too hard old friend. I can't accept you like I used to.

You know, sometimes , this kind of situations really made me not want to trust anyone. Not want to love / treasure any friendship. I just want to stay in my room, feel trapped; I'd slash myself. That's just me but for now, let's just say.. I still have trust / love 7 person in my life (excluding my family; that, ofc I love them). For that 7 person, don't bring me down ):

2011-02-21T21:25:00.003+08:00

JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK JAGK

oh god, why am I sick now? why why why why? But every one of my friends/families concern for me was really much appreciated ; from the bottom of my heart. Really, no one has ever asked me how am I and stuff until this year. Really made me smile but it feels kinda weird. LOL! No worries.

OKAY! So, I'm really looking forward to this 25th February [Friday], 1st March [Tuesday] and 5th March [Saturday]. HEHEHEH! Please make it good.

Friday - Wavehouse with Nurul, Hairil&friends, Yuki&Jack. Daniel can't follow ): Nevermind, as long as I'm having a good/excellent time.

Tuesday - So, it's a secret? Yea but we're meeting quite early. Ard 10:30? WOW, THAT'S LIKE SUNRISE TO ME.

Saturday - Going out with Nurrul, Khairiah, Eyka & Mai. Hiking at Mount Faber.

Plans lined up. Karaoke with Shasha Aziz? Don't know when.

So, DONE! Anymore upcoming plans, tell me k but I know maybe I'm going to Play with Yuki. :D Anyway I was sick since last Saturday but only today then I went to consult a Doctor. Thanks Nurul for the company. I'd be bored to death. She just can't deny that THEY want my attention. She should know about the story. HAHAHA! Homed and rest.

I don't know if I can go to work tomorrow.. Such a hassle to be sick.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

2011-02-20T13:14:00.004+08:00

So yesterday, the plan to meet Zakiah was a success. Caught a whole lot of things with her and which we laughed so hard and loud, people are staring at us. I pity her cause she went in and out of KFC just to find plug for me as I brought my lappy along. After which we shift to SKCC and god! I didn't know it's raining. LOL, sat there and took picture plus video. Apparently, the poly students beside us saw us playing monopoly deal and they started playing it. OMG! Lousy. HAHAHHA!

Homed at 6. Around 7, went down to meet Ahcap to slack around my workplace area. Since I wanted to spent the night out, decided to follow him to watch a tradisional Indonesia "satan" dance at Geylang with Rais , Ko Jack and Ijat. Wow, that was the first time I ever really talked to them. Saw a few mates there but emm, heheh! Shy to approach. Around 9 plus, went off to Altitude.

I had no idea of how to explain to them about the reservation made. Who cares! Went up, the first thing I did was TOILET! HAHAHAH! pee pee. Met jack and slack on the rooftop ALONE! Yuki and Wei Cheng were still on their way just now. A few caucasian came and one of them named MIKE is so damn bloody HANDSOME! HAHAHAHAH! too bad he's got a fiancee.):

They came and had a few cocktails and drinks. Yuki asked me dance with Wei Chen in front of the DJ. I went o.o" fucking serious? I just got to know her a few minutes ago. But whatever. Wei Chen decided to call them down, so I slacked at a standing table and BOOM! CAME 2 CHINESE GUYS! omg. I was like "fuck, where the hell are you guys? Save me". The conversation was like..

S1: Is this your first time here?

M : Err, no. It's my second.

S1: I see, omg. We didn't even know that was the dance floor. You were like the center of attraction there.

M : *shocked* Really? I didn't even know either. I am just dancing. Sorry.

S1: no no, its okay. I mean, its great. how old are you guys cause you look like 19-20 years old.

M : errr, you guess?

S1: are you like 21?

M : oh no. I'm around 19-20 years old. HAHAHAHAH~

S1: I see I see. Well, nice to know you guys. Happy dancing.

M : oh, nice to meet you too. emm, you guys can actually join if ya want to.

S1: okay.

s2: you're cute!

M : thanks ^^

HAHAHAHAH! So, then again. I dragged Wei Chen , Rachel and Leslie in to dance. I wasn't myself yesterday. I was super friendly. HAHAHA! awhile later, came a few boys. Some aren't party goers BUT 2 OF THEM CAUGHT MY EYES. REALLY! First was a dancer, the other was a malay guy. I don't know the dancer name but I definitely know the malay guy name. THAUFIQ! hahhahahah! BOTH OF THEM. HANDSOME! HAHAHAHA!

So, my flirty mood begin. Dance all night with them and ofc! Thaufiq hugged me while dancing. The dancer just stared. LOLOLOLOLOL! Had a few random talks and its 3am. LOL! I swear the time passes by so slowly yesterday. My heels are killing me and I end up dancing with no shoe. HAHAH. Wei Chen was like "eh, I salute you for dancing so long with heels. If I were you, I'd just collapse on the chair" . Okay, that wasn't important. The best part was..

After all of us are tired dancing and it's already 3, I was standing in between the crowd. He tapped me! OMG! HAHAHAHAHAH! just to say bye. *melting* okay la, stop it already k. pfffffffft! But too bad, I didn't thought of taking photo with them.. Until Daniel told me and he was the one who accompanied me the whole night by text twittering. HAHAHAH!

Homed with Wei Chen ard 3 plus. HEHEH! Worst part, when I came home. Parents wasn't asleep yet. So I have to pretend to be straight.

I guess yesterday was a hard Hangover (according to Daniel) . GOSH! I force myself to vomit everything out. I'm tired and I'm sick. I can hardly get out of bed but I have to. My work gets in my way. UGH!

2011-02-17T23:34:00.008+08:00

A MUST TRY! HAHAHA! EVEN MAI TOOK MINE ISTEAD OF EATING HER AWFULLY CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM.

Okay, so that's how innocent I look when I always go out for shopping. CUTE RIGHT? HAHAHAHAH! self-complimenting. So the night before, I had a bad cry and pour everything out to Mai which in-turn, she made a joke and laugh at herself. HAHAHA! Well, ofc I appreciate that alot. At least she's awake at that "fine" hour to hear me out. Thanks BRAH!

So the day after, went out shopping with her which apparently! She watched 90210, Pretty Little Liars and GG for the whole morning and FORGOT ABOUT ME! Nevermind, at least she lights up my dark times. I don't think we've stopped talking for the whole way. There was one time where I was opening the door to AX shop and she was staring at some skaters and she just steadily bang into the door which I was opening. HAAHAHAHAHAH ! Funny moment.

We met Anu for dinner and a little bit of catch up. Ate MacD . It's either I'm having hearing deficiency or short term memory. OR IM DAYDREAMING WHILE THEY'RE TALKING. Sorry, there's a lot of things going in my mind.

Have you ever felt confused? Not knowing of what to feel? Yes, I felt that. I was controlling every tears , every anger , every negativity. It sucks. I was pulling a pretty long face and I'm sorry. I can't take anything in anymore. I just feel like cutting and be back to square one. It sucks isn't it? There are just some things that are you guys might find it a joke, while others find it hurtful. Have you guys thought of this "think before you say anything". Do you guys know the consequences of everything? I mean, yes. Fun is fun but everything has a limit. For now, I'll just keep quiet cause I'm scared of the one I treasure most. Though those actions are hurtful, I'll just bear with it. Furthermore, I'm used to it. Used to breaking down too much for you, used to be critisized by your dumb actions and words. Sometimes, I just think. Whether did you go to school or not? Where did your manners go?

2011-02-15T18:12:00.004+08:00

Friendship day. Since 14/2/2008, still going on -

2011-02-13T22:41:00.003+08:00

HI! SO AS YOU ALL KNOW, TOMORROW IS FEBRUARY 14.

WHAT'S THE FUCKING BIG DEAL? oh yea, the love birds out there made it a ~~big deal~~.

So yesterday, I got two $45 tix for Chingay. Just randomly decided to ask Izzat along since its been ages we last met each other. Also bought this (the Butterfly picture below) WRONG FUCKING STUD for my wrist piercing. BAHHH ! Did some catch up and laughs and quiet and tired and blablabla, hahaha. The thing is at Pit Building and I was like "Fuck, where is it?" Lol? Went off at 9:30pm cause its damn boring. Separate our way and went to Altitude to join Yuki. <: The place is awesome for hangout. AND GUESS WHAT? I WAS THE YOUNGEST THERE AMONG ALL! hahahahah! Had a few drinks and then idk what happened. Only Ryan knows.

I decided to report sick from work since I'm still have that nausea feeling. Went out to town with Family for some grocery shopping. CEH! Grocery shopping at town, feeling like "rich people" . HAHAHAHA! Nah, we have nowhere to go. Bought some random things and homed. Mom asked me to clean my room and seeeeeeeee! I love the outcome of my cupboard. Very neat. :D

Basically, texting Anu and Mai. AWESOME PEEPS! Really :> They make me smile so wide with weird and funny things. Though we have our own busy things to do, we still make time for each other. CEH! I'm shooo sweet. Nah, we are. Anyways, mom is nagging about me taking off frequently. Oh, I deserve so much break man. HAHAHHA! Who cares , whatever.

HONEY, IM SORRY.

2011-02-11T18:27:00.005+08:00

I had dreams of you for quite a few nights and that totally sucks. You made me recall the bad things I've done to you. You were too patient with me till you gave it all up. I'm sorry. I wish I had the guts to make it up to you. Okay, maybe I think too much. I said "Hello" today and you didn't reply. I took all the guts I had to text you and end up feeling so disappointed. Dreaming of you was nothing but as time goes by, it sucks to have those memories stuck in my mind.

I felt so pissed at work. I had to control all emotions there. Yes, I felt like crying and wish the time goes by fast. Why do you have to station yourself in my mind? )': I came home, locked myself in a room, faking a smile whenever I went to the kitchen.

You know how it feels when someone who doesn't know your situation suddenly called you and asked you to hang out with them? Yes, I got that today. And because of you guys, thanks for making my day.

THIS GUY CALLED !

and I totally did not recognise his number but he remembered where I stay. OMG! hahah, so went down to meet him around SK. While in the Train, I saw Danial! Another coincidental surprise. I was playing with my phone and he suddenly bang into me purposely. It was nice of him. HAHAHA! He just came back from meeting her GF which is Eyka. Hehehe. Catch up a bit and he laughed a how broken-hearted I am ): Felt like giving him a punch but nah.. pass that.

Slacked and laughed till 11 plus and homed.

Dear Coincidental surprises,
Thank you so much for ensuring me that I'd appreciate my day everyday. Anyone whom you bumped into might make your day. Even my long-lost friend. Thank you again.
Love, me.

EVEN ENRIQUE IS BEING SO SWEET! OMG ! WHAT IN THE WORLD? hahah

2011-02-11T18:27:00.000+08:00

2011-02-09T14:45:00.001+08:00

OK HI! THAT IS ME. HAHAHAAHAH! I FOUND THIS LOVELY PICTURE IN MY FRIEND'S FOLDER. I LOVE MY HAIR. I think I dye my under part of my hair "blond" and it looks horrible. So I to cover it. Hahaha, and that point of time.. We were eating lunch and HE JUST HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE OF ME LOOKING HORRIBLE.

So, yesterday went out with Nurrul, Eyka, Khairiah and Mai. Walked around town and why is my face always unglam but funny? Ceh, self-complimenting. :> This is the part where me and Mai had nothing to do in the toilet and took it with Nurrul's iPhone. Had trouble holding itso this is the outcome. Walked around and took some photo's. Before that, slacked at starbucks and played UNO cards which cause Nurrul to loose 2/3 of the game. HAHAHAHA! Love it man. Looking at their intense face. Gosh! Homed.

I dont know why he is so blur yesterday. I mean, its not the usual him. Guess he took some prescription eh. DUDE, get to DRC man. HAHAHA! Its just beside your house.

But I like this part :>

HAHAHAHAHAH ! this part, Can't stand the flashing light on my phone. GOD, i feel like throwing my phone.

Anyway, i gtg now. More updates later.. Going to Kak Ati's house with Kak Alynn and her kids. Plus, getting haircuts with Mai. Meeting Anu also ? Maybe. Cherios Lovelies HAHAHAH!

2011-02-07T22:59:00.006+08:00

Hi, I was feeling super high and vulgar today. So I decide to go for work today since I have to attend meeting which SUCKS SO MUCH! not worth my bus fare k stupid. The people there are reasonably friendly and I was randomly making fun of them with Yih Koon. I was having the worst cramp ever. UGH! Went back CO just to find myself joking around with Yana&Amy. Amy couldn't stop laughing because of me and Yana go blur.

M : *whispering* Yaaanaaaa

Ya: Yes?

M : Nothing, my waterbag burst.

Ya: HAAA? WHAT?

M : HAHAHAHAH!

Yi: Aiya, u dont care her la. She always like this one.

I was in pain man! Yih Koon just have to say that. pfffft!

M : Eh, Amy. I switch off the radio ah.

A : Off la.

Ya: HAAAA! you mean the radio was on all this while?

M : YA! OMG, can't you hear. The radio is whispering?

A : HAHAHAHAHAH! What shit la you.

The radio was off. What I meant was the plug. Man, YANA! you gotta wake up.

Yi: Eh, why she these few days get call one?

M : Idk, because I'm sexy? HAHAH!

Ya: Eh, she these few days gets alot of calls you know. Dont play2 ah..

Crazy people having weird conversations there ^ HAHA!

Siti: Farhanah, Amy please.

A : Amy not in!

M: You sure? Its Siti you know?

A : OMG! okay2 come.

M: LOL! Lucky uh I hold the call first. If not you'll get it.

SEE, confident people. HAHAHAHA!

M : Yana! wanna go for Hair removal before your wedding or not?

Ya: You sponsor uh?

M : Ya. There, Amy got alot of tapes here. We take and go ah.

Ya: =.="

A : HAHAHAHHAHA! you ah, make me laugh while I was on the phone.

LOL! I was preparing Yana for her wedding day ^^

K, done with joking around babes. Gonna do more of it on Wednesday. (: I'm sure you guys are going to miss us ^^ especially me !
So this guy suddenly pop up out of nowhere and yea.. he actually wanna say "kill him", but instead he said "kill u" . So, I nearly dialed 999. HAHAHA!

OH! I ALWAYS LOVE THIS CONVERSATION. HAHAHAHAAH! And oh, people and their sweet fucking dreams gives me nightmares. BLEAH!

K, am off now. Having some glamourslacking session tmr ............... :>

2011-02-06T22:57:00.004+08:00

Well, my 3rd day of CNY was well spent i guess. I thought of giving this Malay Classmates outing a miss but since I haven't been seeing them around, I'll just go. Well, it's not as bad. Sorry guys we have to take a cab because of my late coming. Went to some Islamic restaurant which has a very Beautiful eating place and nice food. Had a few nice chat and blablabla, walked around Arab street and found out they changed their timing for the pit.

Just thought of spending some quality time with some old mates but a promise is a promise i guess cause I thought of giving that pit a miss too. Hahaha! Reached tamp and I was lost -.-" Best joke ever! Rais dad came to pick us up with a bus. BUS! HAHAHAHAHA! Omg, big transport for just very few person. Man, super shocking. Few funny moments and MOSTLY BORED! Daniel hasn't got his line back so it's hard for me to ask him to join me since I'm already at Pasir Ris. Really2 want to meet him again man. Its been donkey years.

Night came, a small farewell celebration was given to "i forgot his name" cause he's going NS soon and also to Azri for his "AWOL" . Wait, the only names I remembered was Rais , Q , Azri , Ko Jack , Boy , Syakir , Ana , Jas , Ali , Danila , Ehpi . I think that's all. But there are like around 20 of them there. HAHAHAHA ! whatever. Had a few Karaoke session with Ahcap , Boy , Jas and 2 more i don't remember, they end up playing wrestling. I was happily lying on the mat and Ahcap came to wrestle me with Boy's command.

Me : OUCH, STOP IT! What do you guys take me for?

Boy : Dummy, u know dummy.

Me : Ya, shut up. Its painful.

Yea, I spoke english there. Idk whats wrong with my tongue.

Went into the text to rest for awhile. Played Monopoly Deal and Race with Ahcap and Syakir, Taiti with Syakir and Ko Jack. Around 9 plus, end up sleeping. I swear I can't sleep peacefully with Ahcap poking my waist. Can I punch him? Hahahah. Can somebody sleep by smelling my armpit? OFC, HE DID! HAHAHAHAAHAHHA ! nah, cause he's sleeping on my arm and he's facing towards my armpit. LOL! Mai smelled my armpit before and she says nice! :>I thought of overnight there but to think again, there will be no easy transport tomorrow morning since all of them are staying at Tamp and their pit is at Carpark E. Asked dad to pick me up and homed.

Nice time spent with boring unusual moments -.-

So, my jacket is with Ahcap cause i know he'll be freezing at night [See, am such a good friend] and today, IM THE ONE FREEZING IN THE OFFICE! Yih Koon doesn't want to switch off the aircon. My hands are totally cold like wtf~ Really, my hands are icy cold.

2011-02-03T22:29:00.006+08:00

Well, CNY wasn't a bad thing after all. I thought it was gonna be all boring and stuff but I was wrong. Jasmin was extremely talkative just now but in a funny way. Photo time was awesome, alot of candid shots and pretty faces of mine. HAHAH! Ceh! okay, shut up. Who care's if I loose readers, am i right? So, had a feast at amma house. I meet this family side of mine like once or twice a year? So yea, whatever. More pictures on my DESKTOP! HAHAH!

Hey Jacquelyn, A levels this year eh? HAHA ! goodluck.

Ever seen slanted building? Here it is, at Harbourfront!

Yes , I am sitting on my brother and he says Im not heavy. AWESOME! His current gf weighs heavier than me. WOW !

okay, done with CNY . Found this on tumblr and this picture, I should say it's rather beautiful. How Christians get together to protect the Muslims during their prayers. This is what we call respect for each other religion. Anyway, its in Egypt. They are having some protest or something.

AND I GOT REALLY SHOCKED WHEN I SEE THIS PHOTO! HAHAHAHA ! Sasha told me that she took a look at one of his album "BestF' and I didn't even know that he created one. HAHAHA ! He really made me laugh man. But awww, that's great. All my crazy and ugly looking face is on his FB. THANKS MAN! REALLY!

I WOULDN'T WANNA TAKE ANOTHER BLOW!

2011-02-02T10:24:00.004+08:00

So yesterday I promised you guys to post something at night right? Well, apparently I reached home around 12am. So I let it pass and get some sleep after tumblring. But hey, here I am posting right.

I'm still thinking of whether to keep my hair long or cut it short. Opinions from my friends are not working on me. Like come on, I still have to decide on my own right? Pros : I wanna see myself with Hairlength same like Mai's. Cons : I'm not sure of how I will look like when I have long hair. I'm fickle minded, that sucks.

Oh yea, due to my laziness to go to work.. I reported sick. HAHAH ! Actually, my colleagues are good liars too. Bloody hell! HAHAHA ! Upteen lies we have told people cause we are lazy to entertain their craps. Thought of staying home since I'm not working, conserving energy man! Too bad I couldn't. Mai and Anu asked me out and I can't freaking shut the fuck up. HAHAH ! They're tired of hearing my voice all the time and most of the time, their eyes were wide open just to give a signal that no one heard what I just said.

Really, yesterday was horrible. I don't know what got into me. I speak a whole lot of dirty craps. I like Anu's butt yesterday. I told her that her butt is so bouncy and juicy. HAHAHAH ! And I gave that kiss gesture to one of the girl's shopping at Forever21. Anu got all panicked and told Mai. HAHAH ! My oh my, how horrible is that. I know I'm a girl and I should behave like one but come on man. For once, just let loose yourself in public. That's public nuisance right? I know.

I totally shut the hell up after I ate Wendy. Mai took over my place and she kept on talking nonsense. HAHAHHA ! But there is just one thing I suffered there. They kept on HITTING ON MY PIERCING! DAMN IT. THAT IS FUCKING PAIN! but not to worry, it was all accidental.

So today, I got into office and Amy came running to me. She told me yesterday's condition in the office was horrible? Yea , it was all my fault. I didn't follow up properly. So, the reason why I got alot of calls yesterday was because of the USS thingy.

Amy: If you were to come back yesterday, those in the office would have strangled you uh. Its really a big mess yesterday and the counter is so busy. And I'm busy now, wow!

Hmm, felt guilty. Siti didn't give me clear instruction man. Come on! BLEAH ! So, I got fucked by Siti today. Well, all I can do is smile and doesn't mean I smile, meaning I have no feelings. I just feel guilty ,thats all. Hmm.. So she's out. Reunion dinner later, followed by family gathering I guess ? This is what happens when you're mixed blood. AWESOME LIFE I HAVE!(Y)

EVERYTHING IS NOT IN PLACE, WHERE DO YOU GO?

2011-01-30T23:14:00.006+08:00

This girl seems pretty . Don't get me wrong , I'm still straight . I like this photo very very very much .

Ok , this post was supposed to be posted on Sunday . WHICH ! apparently , everything on this computer crashed on me . GAHHHH ! How sick is this computer . Bloody #%@$%! So , this girl here is being so confused with herself that she don't know what the hell is she talking about . HAHAH! I was laughing secretly behind .

And this ! OHH USUAL ! always bugging plus making a big joke out of everything .

HAHAHA ! I have no idea why I type in that "dildo" ..

See what I mean . Always !

Ok , if you guys find it disgusting reading all this piece of shit . Sorry . Hahaha , its just the way I am . Ok , I've changed . Big deal ?

So , yea .. Sunday had a Fondue feast and Pepita made me laugh so much I couldn't take it . We were all high on Chocolates . Well , fuck that . Well , I'm gonna post another one of the post tonight . BB

2011-01-28T14:20:00.004+08:00

I'm currently waiting for more people to fuck my life further .. Really , what more do you guys want ? It's already 2011 ! You might not see what mistakes you guys are doing , so am I . So , let's just say if I ever did disappear for a while , means I just want to be alone .

I'm young , so what the hell ? I wanna do a lot of crazy things . Things that some are afraid to do , beyond boundaries . I may be uncontrollable most of the times but I know my limits . Have you guys ever seen/heard me being dragged all the way to a police station ? I have not committed a crime so why do you guys care so much ? Have I been giving rude gestures ? I'm smiling , I'm trying my very best .

Oh , i forgot . No one cares .. You guys will only be here when I'm happy . Isn't that saddening ? Awww , thanks so much guys . I appreciate what you guys have done .. *hugs*

Anyway , he made my night every night . Well , almost .. HAHA ! well , the conversation before was he asked me to align my lips before talking cause I always have tongue-tied .. So I was being sarcastic and tadaaa ! I got a compliment ^^ HAHAHA !

oh yea , to make it clear .. WE ARE JUST FRIENDS! done for tonight .